The Spartan
by Tribal Shimmy
Summary: Hephaistion, a Spartan, accepts a mission to assassinate Alexander.
1. Chapter 1

Hephaistion clambered up the rocky outcrop to stand and look over the landscape before him, taking comfort in the solitude he found away from his home...that did not feel like home to him anymore. He caught his breath and looked down to his naked chest, running his fingers over the scar there, which was fading already, though his recovery had been slow and he did not feel so fit as he might have been. He stared over at the mountains that held Laconia, embracing the land like a mother might embrace a favoured child and he sighed to feel the way he did now, remembering when life had seemed good.

A cool breeze blew and he wrapped his red cloak around himself and as it lifted in the breeze, the patches sewn on it caught his eye and he looked up towards the heavens and wondered which God had brought shame on him, why the fates had been so cruel. "I always did my best," he murmured to the breeze. He looked to the patches again, knowing they marked him as a coward and he pressed his lips together in anger at the injustice that he felt to have to wear them. He had shunned men who were known as cowards, never thinking that their assumed cowardice might have been misjudged, that they might have had good cause, like he had. Sitting down on the rocks Hephaistion looked over to his home, resting his head upon his right hand, thinking for a moment that his beard needed trimming. He laughed bitterly, nothing mattered anymore.

Yet, still he knew he was better staying where he was than to have to walk the streets below getting disapproving glances and having to yield to everyone before he ate, before he took a place in the theatre. Better he took his dagger and cut through a vein. Better he seek a battle where he could die in a brave act, and be redeemed, be called a hero by his death. Crying was weak. He swallowed back his self pity and sat and let the world go by until it grew dark, then rising to his feet he made his way back to the town, thinking it was a braver act to walk the streets of Sparta with patches on his cloak, than ever to stand in the phalanx or ride in a cavalry charge.

OOXXOO

He sought no company and was glad to find the streets deserted, he knew the city well enough to find his way in the dark. The barracks might still be busy but he knew a way in where he would not be noticed and could find his way to his bed. That way was guarded. Two men, one holding a torch, stood by the doorway talking. Hephaistion recognised them as Laterides and Charilus and wondered what two senior men of the city would be doing there. He came to a halt, his way was barred and he wondered, for a moment, if he was to be denied the comfort of the barracks from now on. "Hephaistion?" Charilus asked, holding up the torch to see more clearly. "It's him, " Laterides, said gruffly, spitting on the ground afterwards. Charilus looked to Laterides, then to him. "Come with us," he said. Hephaistion followed.

No doubt he would have to find another place to sleep. It was no surprise, he should have considered himself lucky not to have been homeless from the start, but he had found his way alone before and he could do it again.

He studied the two men, who said nothing but seemed eager not to be seen out on the street, hurrying along, taking all the backstreets they could find. Eventually, they headed through the gate of a large house, where lamps were lit. Hephaistion had never been inside it before and he did not recognise the three other men who waited there.

"Have you said anything?" one of them asked.

"We were not going to talk on the street," Laterides replied, going over to the table to pour himself a cup of wine.

Hephaistion noted there were no servants about.

"They say you have the blood of Leonidas flowing through your veins," a second man said, his eyes looking to the patches on the cloak. His dark eyes then looked up to appraise the man before him. "And yet you trembled in battle." He sighed loudly and shook his head, rubbing his right hand over his face.

"Leonidas alright," Charilus agreed, "I hear he did so well in training, there were hopes for him."

"And yet he trembled," Laterides said, and spat again.

"Talk to him, Diomache."

Diomache was the second man. He looked around the room, to silently gain the approval of all there. "We have just returned from Delphi, " he began. "And we were told that...'A son of Leonidas will have the lion at his feet, a strike to the heart, he will wear the wreath'."

"You are sure he is the only descendant?" asked the first man.

"The only one left alive," Charilus said.

"A trembler." Diomache shook his head. "Hardly up to the task."

"The oracle can not be wrong," Laterides insisted.

"Is there no other?"

Laterides laughed and looked on Diomache as though he was a fool. "I would have said," he snapped.

There was a silence. Hepaistion looked at each of the men, then around the room. He had nothing to say. Diomache sighed, looked to his friends and then took a gold handled dagger from his belt and placed it on a table beside him, looking on it as if he had not seen it before, as if it were something to revere, a gift from the gods, from Hephaestus himself. Slowly, he looked at Hephaistion, concern showing in his eyes clearly, even by the lamplight. "A son of Leonidas...you, Hephaistion. We want you to take this dagger and strike in to the heart of Alexander of Macedon." He hesitated a moment.

Hephaistion did not allow himself to react. He stood still and upright as if he had heard nothing.

"Kill him and you do the rest of Greece a favour. Sparta can regain its glory...and you, Hephaistion, can regain your honour." "In death," Laterides said. "You sacrifice yourself for Sparta."

Looking at the dagger, Hephaistion thought it had been made for an assassin's hand, too fine for battle, the blade too delicate. "You act as if the grandeur of Sparta still exists, as it did in Leonidas' day," he said. "You cling to the words of gods, try to retain what has long since turned to dust, turn away from the old ways but when it suits you enforce the old laws..."

"Hephaistion!" Laterides snapped.

Hephaistion looked to the man. He had once respected him, now he just saw a bitter old man.

"It has to be a son of Leonidas...it has to be you, Hephaistion."

"And if I refuse?"

"Trembler," Diomache muttered and shook his head.

Hephaistion sighed. He was tired of this life. He stepped forward and reached out for the dagger, lifting it in his hand and studying the hilt. "I never thought myself an assassin, " he said, "but what is this Alexander to me?" He placed the dagger in his belt, accepting what was asked of him. The fates had brought him a way to die and he was glad for it, and if a tyrant would accompany him to Hades, then so be it. "When do we leave?


	2. Chapter 2

Alexander felt restless. He discarded the story he had been reading, that of Xenophon's escape from Persia, and got up from the couch he had been lying on, stretching his body and walking over to the balcony to stare across at Pella.

It might have been the place he was born, the place he had lived but somehow it never felt like home and he had no regret that he would leave it again, as he had no longing to return. Yet things needed to be settled before he went to Persia, he had to wait, while plans were made. His father had not left him rich and an army cost money, he needed to be sure of success.

He leaned on the balcony and listened to the city sounds, thinking of the past, of all his father had tried to teach him. He had been so anxious to have his chance to shine, that at times he had wished his father gone, but how much would he give now to see the man back?

A door opened and Alexander looked to his left to see a servant of his mother's appear and whisper to a servant of his own. More messages from her, begging his attention. He sighed and looked down, he would have to go and see her some time. She wanted him to marry. Parmenion and Antipater were all urging him to marry, to leave an heir before he left for Persia. He had been fighting the idea but now he was beginning to see some sense in it, so long as they found a girl his father had not touched.

Pushing himself up from the balcony he had a look across to the river, seeing ships arriving, ambassadors seemed to arrive daily now...and how they had all run away when his father was murdered. He shook his head and began to walk through the rooms, his father's rooms, wondering why he could not settle, why he felt so ill at ease in the place that had always been his home.

The guard jumped to attention as he left the rooms and made his way to the great hall where he found Ptolemy and Leonnatus drinking wine and involved in a debate over a horse, one they had never seen, it appeared.

"The breeding is wrong for battle," Leonnatus argued.

"No, it is the best kind," said Ptolemy, "you'll see when it arrives".

Leonnatus sighed loudly then took a sip if wine. "The man was bragging, I've never seen him with a decent animal."

Ptolemy saw Alexander approach and got to his feet, nudging Leonnatus to do the same.

"I'm not disturbing you am I?" Alexander asked.

There had been a subtle change in how he was treated these days, a little too much reverence for his liking, but where his father would have joked and relaxed people Alexander did not have that gift, he could only hope it would settle and his friends would be his friends once more.

"We're not doing much," Leonnatus said, putting down his empty cup of wine.

Ptolemy stretched, a little too theatrically. "I wouldn't mind a visit to the gymnasium, I am getting lazy and need to move a little."

Leonnatus laughed. "Then a visit to the brothel would do you just as well."

"What about you, Alexander?" asked Ptolemy, ignoring Leonnatus' jibe. "Would you accompany me?"

Alexander sighed. If truth were told he would have stayed at Dion, he had lingered there for as long as he could but knew he had to return to Pella before he could ever go to Persia, reluctantly he had gone back, greeted by his mother who held him tightly as if she never would let go. She never would. One reason why she wanted him to marry was to give him a reason to return, she knew him too well, could always tell what was in his heart. Perhaps she was a witch, like they said. She was a murderess, that was true. Pella stank of intrigue and plots, if he had not Persia in mind then he might look for another place to build a palace. He was restless. Uncertain.

"Alexander?"

Before he could reply Craterus and Seleucus appeared, both laughing at some shared joke. Craterus stepped forward and embraced Alexander, pulling him close enough so he could smell the wine on his breath. He kissed him and ruffled his hair. Alexander's grey eyes showed that he knew it was all to tease. Long ago, at Mieza, he had come to realise that Craterus would never be more than just a friend and not so close as he might have wished. Craterus was too sarcastic, too quick to anger, though in battle he shone and his loyalty was undisputed.

"My King," laughed Craterus, bowing low, as if he had forgotten himself.

Seleucus laughed and pulled on Craterus' chiton to get him to stand upright, if a little unsteady on his feet.

Ptolemy shook his head. "Well into your cups at mid-day, Craterus?"

"It was good wine that got us there," Seleucus replied. "We came to fetch you. Perdiccas is about to wrestle this giant, a merchant from Corinth...who sold us the wine. Perdiccas is going to be slaughtered." Laughing again, Seleucus pulled Craterus free of Alexander and dragged him towards the door.

"It should be fun to watch," Leonnatus said, looking at Alexander.

"Perhaps we should go, just to stop Perdiccas getting hurt," Ptolemy murmured.

Alexander gave a nod of consent and allowed himself to be herded along to the gymnasium. Just as they got outside a messenger came from Anitpater to say that a Spartan delegation had arrived. He told the messenger to ensure they were given lodgings and what they needed and he would receive them soon enough, then went on his way.


	3. Chapter 3

The large house they were given to lodge in was comfortable enough, built as it was around a pleasant courtyard, although Diomache had complained that their lodgings should have been in the palace and a house was an insult to Sparta.

Hephaistion had found Diomache thought everything an insult to Sparta, even Laterides and Charilus had seemed to grow tired of him on their journey. Only the four of them had come, the other two conspirators had paid for the journey and then chosen to take no further part. Eventually, they would leave him to finish the task, to finish everything.

He felt as though he were no longer a part of the world, as though he were already dead. Things would have been simpler if the sword had gone a little deeper than it had, if he had died that day.

Arriving at Pella, his spirits had lifted for a while, it was a different world to Sparta and the hustle of the city, the curious, not hostile, glances from the crowd around the market they had passed through cheered him, then he would remember the dagger he carried and why he had come to the city.

Alexander seemed in no hurry to see them, it had been three days since their arrival but still no message had come for them to attend him at the palace. Excuses had been made when Diomache and Laterides had gone to find out the cause of the delay, they had come back none the wiser but sure that the king was hunting and might be away for several days.

From up in the balcony of the house, which looked over the market, Hephaistion sat and watched people go about their lives, listening while Diomache complained about their treatment, then called a servant for food and wine to be brought. He rested his head against a stone pillar and watched two young boys at play, fighting with wooden swords, calling out that they would go to Persia with Alexander and make themselves rich, then running along the street before turning and fighting once more, despite being chided by an elderly woman who might have been a grandmother to one.

"You hide yourself away."

Hephaistion looked around and saw Charilus walking over to him, stopping to look to the street and smiling at the boys.

"Life is simple then," he said.

Hephaistion nodded, then was aware that the man was studying him. "What do you expect to see?"

"They had such hopes for you," Charilus replied.

"The fates are not always kind." Hephaistion shrugged and turned to gaze on the two boys once more.

Charilus hesitated before he spoke. "Shave your beard, Hephaistion. The young men here do, you should too."

A look of puzzlement crossed Hephaistion's face. "Why shave my beard?"

Charilus shook his head. "Do you never look in the mirror?" He walked away leaving Hephaistion to brood alone.

XXOOXX

Two days later Alexander returned from hunting. It was late afternoon and he was riding towards the royal stables when the inclination came upon him to visit the Spartan delegation.

He jumped down from Bucephalus and threw the stallion's reins to one of his pages, then called for Ptolemy and Craterus to accompany him. Leonnatus pointed out that he could possibly do with bathing, that he hardly looked like the king but Alexander only grinned and made his way along the streets to the house he knew they lodged at.

The servants who knew him bowed as he walked up the stone steps in to the courtyard and he looked around to see three older men talking, as if making plans for something. Distracted, they did not see him enter, but a man his own age did, seated alone on the other side of the courtyard he stood, saying nothing, just watching.

A few moments later one of the three turned to see him, alerting the others who came forward, unsure of just who was in their presence.

"I am Alexander," he said, looking again to the solitary Spartan before turning his attention to the main group.

One plump man with grey, thinning hair and a sparse beard stepped forward. "I am Diomache." He pointed to the two other men, old soldiers who looked distinguished and proud. "Laterides and Charilus," Diomache said, then remembered to bow a little.

A servant came forward offering wine but Alexander refused it, instead he stepped forward and took a seat. "You have been waiting to see me," he said.

Diomache coughed. "We thought we might be called to the palace."

Alexander laughed, softly. "Well, I thought I would come to you. What is it you have to say?"

"That we offer men for Persia," said Laterides, moving to stand beside Diomache.

Distracted, Alexander looked over to the younger man, wondering why he had not been introduced. Spartans were known to be laconic but this man had said nothing and seemed to be invisible to the rest. Blue eyes gazed back at him with indifference, Alexander was pleased to see it, so many people rushed to fawn over him these days, it made a refreshing change.

It was Charilus who spoke next. "We did not introduce, Hephaistion. He is of Leonidas' line...the last of his line."

Alexander wondered if Leonidas had been so handsome, like Adonis brought to human form. He smiled to Hephaistion. "You have an illustrious ancestor, a brave man, one I much admire."

"He lived a long time ago," Hephaistion replied, softly.

Silence hung in the air for a moment. Alexander sensed a sadness about Hephaistion but had no idea what troubled him.

Diomache took a step forward. "We should talk of sending men to Persia."

Turning to look on the aged ambassador, Alexander nodded. "To have someone of Leonidas' line with me would be good," he smiled.

There was another cough from Diomache, a nervous cough it seemed. He gave a forced smile. "We could send three hundred men if it pleased you."

"It might," Alexander replied.

"Perhaps they could win battles by themselves," Craterus said.

Alexander laughed. "I think those days have gone," he observed.

He stood up and smiled to the three men before him. "We will have a banquet tomorrow night, come to the palace then and we will talk some more."

Hardly waiting for farewells Alexander left the courtyard with his two companions and disappeared in to the market place.


	4. Chapter 4

Charilus looked to Hephaistion. "He liked what he saw."

"He liked what he heard," Diomache said.

"Get Alexander close and then it is an easier thing to sheath the dagger in his heart," Laterides said.

Diomache put his hand to his mouth as he coughed. "Not at the banquet, not when we are there."

Laterides went over to Hephaistion. "When the time is right that is when we will leave you. Kill the tyrant, Alexander, and your honour will be redeemed."

"I know. You have told me often enough," Hephaistion said, " but I will not seduce the man to get close."

"You think you can get close any other way?" Laterides snapped. "He was just with two companions but did you not see how he was guarded by them? You think you could make a move to do Alexander harm and not be cut down before your hand closed around the dagger's hilt?"

"He looked at you," Charilus said, "I could see he was attracted to you, Hephaistion...any man would be, even a king."

"I don't want him," Hephaistion replied.

"Oh yes you do," Laterides spat, "you want him close."

"Trembler," Diomache said.

Hephaistion wanted to go, to find a place alone, but he would not allow himself to move. He stood his ground and waited until the three men had finished their harangue and moved back in to the house before he went upstairs to take his place on the balcony once more, to watch life going on without him, to see two boys having fun, unaware of how the fates could change everything.

OOXXOO

"Would we really want Spartans going with us to Persia?" Craterus asked, as they arrived back at the palace.

"It would appeal to Alexander's romantic notions," Ptolemy said, grinning to the man he spoke about.

"Their days of glory have gone," noted Craterus.

"I have been to Thermopylae," Alexander said, "I saw the hot gates and pictured the scene, admired Leonidas' audacity, his bravery. If those three hundred men still lived today I would have no hesitation."

Alexander did not miss the look Craterus gave to Ptolemy before he spoke again.

"There was the man our age who has Leonidas' blood, but no doubt diluted over time, he is no king, that is for sure."

Alexander stopped walking and turned to Craterus. "No doubt men took the throne, as my father took the throne from my cousin. It is sometimes the best for the kingdom to do that. If I left an heir and then was killed in Persia someone would take his place."

"Antipater would," Ptolemy assured him.

"Antipater has ambitious sons. Do you think he would wait for a son of mine to be old enough to rule? And who is to say it is Anitpater? It could well be Parmenion."

"A civil war would erupt," Craterus agreed.

"Don't die, Alexander," smiled Ptolemy placing his hand on the king's shoulder.

"I'll try not to," Alexander grinned. "Come on, let's hope our baths are ready."

OOXXOO

Hephaistion wondered if the people in the crowded hall could tell that the three men he was with thought little of him, or if the new red cloak he wore, the one he had been given for the journey, made him appear accepted. He decided on the latter, though if truth be told nobody gave them much consideration as they picked their way across the room to the only two dining couches that were unoccupied.

Diomache was complaining that he had expected a more intimate dinner than this and gave a sour look as Laterides and Charilus sat together on a couch. He pushed by Hephaistion and sat down, turning his back and attempting to start a conversation with his other two conspirators.

Apparently, when Philip was alive, the banquets at Pella were known for their drunkeness and debauchery. Although the room was full, all seemed sober enough. Unseen musicians played, serving girls went unmolested, friends were reuniting, catching up on gossip, concluding deals.

There was a momentary hush as Alexander entered the hall, with about ten companions following him, to take his place at the top couches, on a raised area so he could be seen by all. Hephaistion took off the red cloak, the room was hot, he folded it and placed it beside him then looked around the room, to the walls and their wonderful paintings.

He had been raised to be a soldier. There was a time when every Spartan was. Yet he appreciated art and philosophy and if Alexander were a tyrant he was a cultured one, tutored by Aristotle himself, raised in Pella where his father, Philip, encouraged the arts, when he was not fighting battles to leave a legacy for his son. He seemed to have inspired loyalty from an early age too, a man he had spoken to in the market, earlier that day, had happily told him stories of Alexander.

A servant brought wine, another food, placing it on a low table before them before hurrying on their way. Hephaistion picked up his cup and looked at the contents, moving the cup so that the wine span inside, red like blood.

"Spartan!"

Hephaistion looked up to see a man his age, sitting with a group of friends, grinning over at him, beckoning to him.

"Come join us, leave the old men to their talk," the stranger laughed.

Forcing a smile, Hephaistion shook his head and looked back to the wine.

"Spartan!"

With a sigh he looked back again.

"I am Themistocles and I would like to know you better if I could."

The group of friends laughed at his comment, making remarks which made Themistocles flush but still he went on. "I heard that Spartans have male lovers, I would volunteer to be yours...if none of the old men have claimed you as their own."

"None here," Hephaistion replied, looking up and in to Themistocles' brown eyes, "and none shall".

Themistocles friends groaned as if in sympathy for their companion, one wrestled with him briefly and no more was said as they turned their attentions to a serving girl who had brought more wine.

Hephaistion looked over to Alexander who was deep in conversation with a man who had accompanied him to the house the day before. He noticed that though he held a cup of wine he did not drink from it so often, and while his companions ate their fill he touched nothing. While he looked Alexander turned his head and met his gaze, then stood, putting down the cup of wine and made his way alone to where he sat.

Diomache stood, signalling unnecessarily, that they all should stand, then bow as Alexander approached.

"Do you have all you need?" Alexander asked. "Sit down, we can talk a little."

It seemed as if Diomache intended the king to sit by him but Alexander chose instead to sit beside Hephaistion, leaving Charilus and Laterides to turn their couch so that they could join in a conversation without straining to hear.

Alexander's right arm brushed against Hephaistion's left and although he seemed oblivious to it Hephaistion felt every movement. Had it been so long since he had felt the simplest contact? The surgeon who treated his wound had done so with disdain, only touching when he needed to, as though he might be contaminated with fear. None since. No touch since then Hephaistion realised and he turned to look to the man beside him as though he had never seen him before.

He was handsome, his golden hair shining in the light of the hall, his skin slightly ruddy but not unattractive. Alexander spoke quickly, his face animated, intelligent grey eyes shining, a strong brow, straight nose and perfect lips. He dressed well, his honed physique not hidden by the cloth but highlighted by it.

Seeing Alexander turn to look at him, Hephaistion took an interest in the wine. Here was the man he had come to kill, that he could take his dagger and slaughter now, if he had not promised the others that they would be safely away before he brought death to the king.

"I was hoping to have a chance with him!"

Alexander laughed and Hephaistion looked up to see Themistocles speaking once more.

"When do you have a chance with anyone?" Alexander replied.

Themistocles friends laughed.

"Wine makes him brave," said one.

"That is why he drinks before battle," said Alexander, smiling to Hephaistion.

"Hephaistion fights in our cavalry," Charilus said, quickly.

"I wonder what Leonidas would have thought of that?"Alexander mused.

Hephaistion took a drink of wine, it freed him from replying though he was aware that Alexander was studying him now.

"I know what it is like, to feel alone," the king whispered before turning back to Charilus. "So, do you plan to send cavalry?"

They were all lies that Diomache, Laterides and Charilus spoke, they had no authority to promise anything, all that they brought was death. Alexander spoke enthusiastically of his intentions to go to Persia not knowing that, like his father, the plans might come to nothing, that the fates had other plans. The words from Delphi could not be ignored but Hephaistion wondered why the task had fallen to him. Laterides began to live past glories as Alexander encouraged him to speak, listening with interest and questioning any point that he had misunderstood. He did not seem a tyrant and that began to rankle Hephaistion, for a moment wondering why he should have agreed to kill when all he wanted was his own death.

"I will go riding at dawn, Hephaistion. My companions and I would be happy to have you join us if you wish," Alexander said, before getting to his feet.

"He will be happy to," said Charilus. Alexander frowned.

"I know Spartans are known to be laconic but does Hephaistion have no voice at all?"

"I have a voice," Hephaistion said, "I speak when there is something to say."

Grinning as though he had won a victory Alexander left them, walking back to his companions and lying on a couch, taking wine from a servant.

"Go with them in the morning. Take it as a chance to get close to the king but do nothing."

"Not until you are safe. I know," Hephaistion replied and studied the wine once more.


	5. Chapter 5

Alexander woke early, just as the sun was beginning to rise. He washed and dressed, then took an apple from a plate, taking a bite of it as he stepped outside of his rooms to find Craterus and Perdiccas waiting for him. They fell in to step behind him as they made their way through the palace and down a flight of steps to the main entrance where Ptolemy, Seleucus and Leonnatus were standing, ready to go.

With so many companions he did not need so many of the guard to accompany him but Alexander missed the days when he could make his way to the stables without being seen and go out riding alone. His father's old rooms did not give him the freedom he once had, each way out had guards around the door.

He wrapped his dark blue chlamys around his shoulders and strode out towards the stables, remembering, when he was almost there, that he had invited the Spartan, Hephaistion, to join them. He could not say why he had asked, he had no reason for it.

The grooms had their horses ready and Alexander smiled to see Bucephalus bow before him and he leapt on to the stallion's back before waiting for his friends to be ready. The Royal Guard arrived, ten men to go with them, and Alexander decided he should try to find a way out where he could not be seen, if only once. There was no sign of Hephaistion and having had no word the grooms had no horse ready Perhaps Spartans slept late in their beds.

Alexander led the way out of the stables and to the nearest gate, heading for the river, watching the sun rise in the sky bathing the plains with a red glow.

There before them, putting a horse through its paces was Hephaistion. He cantered it around in a large circle, gathering the reins, using his legs to get the horse to collect itself, then turning it sharply to go the other way, asking it to rear, then buck. He stayed firmly seated, as though he were part of the animal and was a joy to watch but he brought the horse to a halt when he saw the others approach and waited silently for them to join him.

"Does he realise how handsome he is?" Perdiccas said to nobody as they approached.

"No, he doesn't," Alexander replied, turning to smile to his friend, then as they got close enought to speak he looked to Hephaistion. "I thought you were still in your bed."

"And I thought you were still in yours," came the reply.

Hephaistion reined back his horse and bowed his head as Alexander rode on, then paused before riding at the back of the group so that a little distance was maintained. He made no effort to come forward and join in the conversation, he was like a shadow to them, cantering when they did, galloping, jumping but saying nothing.

"He could be a shade," Seleucus commented, when they stopped by the river and dismounted for a while.

"It's like he is no part of this world," agreed Ptolemy.

"Sparta's problem," grumbled Leonnatus.

Alexander looked over to where Hephaistion had led his horse and now stood brooding, watching the river flow by. He dropped Bucephalus' reins, knowing the stallion would not wander and walked over to the Spartan, wondering if he could take a victory and win a smile.

"Are you thinking of home? Do you have family you miss?"

"None," Hephaistion replied, not bothering to look up. He sighed deeply.

Choosing not to go closer, Alexander stood a couple of paces away and watched the man as he had last night. It was not that Hephaistion intended to be ill-mannered, Alexander was sure that what he saw now was not who Hephaistion really was. One puzzle was why he would care about the man. Perhaps he saw something in him, a troubled mind. "I have had dark days in the past," he said.

This earned him a glance.

"Having nobody I felt I could talk to," he continued.

No more glances but Hephaistion shifted his weight as though he were uncomfortable.

"Enough companions but no-one close."

Alexander noticed Hephaistion's grip tighten on the reins he held.

"What troubles you?" he asked softly.

"A decision I made, a promise I gave," came the reply, at last.

There was a silence. Alexander sensed better than to press for Hephaistion to say more but did not want to step away. Something inside of him wanted to know this man.

"I heard it said you were a tyrant," Hephaistion said.

Alexander laughed. "I hear it all the time."

"You levelled Thebes to the ground. Killed Eurydice and her children."

"The first needed to be done, the second was not my choice."

"You sound as if you are trying to convince yourself of that." Hephaistion looked at him, judging him.

Alexander stood his ground and returned the gaze. "You should understand battle and I was away from Pella and gave no order for Eurydice to be killed. I had no part in the murder of my father's wife or of her children, I would have kept them safe."

The Spartan looked to him, judging him, blue eyes looking do deeply as if they might know every thought he ever had, every feeling. "I believe you," Hephaistion finally replied, speaking softly.

Suddenly angry that he should have come to offer support only to find himself justifying the past to a Spartan, that he would even have wanted the man's understanding when he was nothing to him, Alexander turned and walked away. Determined to speak to Diomache, call the man to the palace and tell him he had no need for Spartans.

OOXXOO

Sensing the change, knowing he was responsible for it, Hephaistion made his excuses and rode on alone.

The companions had seemed surprised by this decision, as if it was an honour to ride with the king, not something to be given up lightly.

Hephaistion returned to Pella, right away, going to the royal stables to return the horse that he had borrowed then, not wanting to go to the house, he headed for the market place. Merchants tried to entice him in to their shops to buy but he shook his head and walked on through the crowded place, noting the fine temples to Apollo and Zeus then the one for Aphrodite. He stopped before it and thought a while of the goddess before going up the steps and walking inside.

Even in the busy market, with so many people outside, the temple was a quiet place. A statue of the goddesss stood before him and he said a silent prayer to her, part of it apologising for his neglect of late. As he was apologising he saw Alexander in his mind's eye, the look on his face by the river and he realised he had seemed cruel. Whatever they said, Alexander was no tyrant. He took the dagger from his belt and held it up to catch the light, uncertain what to do. He had been trained to obey, although he had disobeyed before and could again. Stepping closer to the statue he slid the dagger behind it, there but out of sight, releasing it.

He stepped back and closed his eyes, thinking of his life in Sparta; thinking of the past; thinking of why he was in Pella. If he could not kill Alexander, then he might as well end his life right here, right now. Laterides was right, he was weak...a trembler. He reached for the dagger, taking it and placing it back in his belt, then turned and headed for the house.


	6. Chapter 6

"You have to choose someone to marry."

Alexander looked at his mother, although the words had been spoken by Antipater. The two had never been close but they were united on this one idea, that he should leave an heir before he went to Persia.

"I have never said I was against the idea," Alexander said, knowing this would appease them in some measure.

"And yet you find fault with all the girls we talk of," sighed Olympias, "too young, too old, too quiet, too talkative..."

"Not noble enough, not tall enough, not clever enough..." said Anitpater, shaking his head.

Alexander smiled. It was unusual to see his mother and the general working together in a common cause and for that reason alone, while he was at Pella, it was a good thing to keep them looking for a bride. His mother thought that the pregnant wife would then remain at Pella, she did not realise that he had no intention of having his son raised by his mother, he knew the damage she could do. Antipater wanted an heir, he had always been loyal but he had his own sons and Alexander knew that if he died in Persia the sons of Antipater would want the kingdom.

He had thought he wanted marriage and an heir when he returned from Dion but now it was not important to him.

"I hear you are giving away your possessions," his mother said.

"Things I no longer need."

Olympias held her hands to her heart and looked concerned, as if her son knew more than she did.

"No omens, Mother," he soothed her.

She was still beautiful, he could understand why his father chose her as his bride, he would not have known then of her temper and her pride, how she would fight like a lioness to protect those she loved. How she could resort to murder, for she had the blood of Eurydice and her children on her hands, even if she had not committed the deed herself. He loved her, he always had, but now he was also wary of her, he knew her too well. Perhaps that made him reluctant to marry, that the girl might be like his mother...but would that be so bad? She was a queen in every sense.

"It's just an heir you need, Alexander. You do not have to love the girl, or spend so much time with her if you choose not to," argued Antipater.

"My son will not approve that,"Olympias said, "Philip and I tried before to send girls to his bed...he needs to love, to be loved."

"I am still here, you talk as if I am not," Alexander laughed. He sighed, knowing the only way to placate them at the moment, to give himself a respite from it all. "Find a girl, one you both agree on, then send for me and, if I am pleased with her, I will marry.

Olympias smiled, like a woman who was pleased to have got her way. She would already have a girl in mind, someone she knew she could control, it was her way.

"I need to speak to Antipater alone," Alexander said.

Unable to hide her temper at being sent away, desperate to take her part in ruling Macedon, after years in the background, Olympias did not move. She pursed her lips together and scowled at Antipater, hating the man once more for having the trust of her son.

"Mother."

Olympias looked over to her son. "You should include me," she spat.

"You were included, until you chose to murder Eurydice and her children," Alexander snapped back.

"Because you never listen to me," hissed Olympias.

"Go and find a bride that you and Antipater can agree on," Alexander said, staring at his Mother, showing he was not prepared to bow to her wishes.

Olympias gave a cry of anger and stormed out of the room without another look at her son and the general.

"Now, when my father is no longer here, I understand what he went through, how he must have found life difficult with my mother," sighed Alexander.

"He loved her once," Antipater replied, softly, "he was blind to her faults".

Alexander nodded his head, hearing the echo of a slammed door along the hallway outside. These days he loved his mother more when he was away from her. When he had returned from Dion, and saw her waiting on the palace steps for him, he felt as if he could not breathe. All of her demands, all of her wishes, constantly berating him for what he should do, who he should listen to, who he should stay away from. On campaign, a letter from her could be discarded once read, he could get on with what was needed. Here, she was always wanting him to see her or sending servants with messages.

"I long to go to Persia," he said, looking to the general.

Antipater smiled. "I will, of course, stay here and do my best."

Alexander grinned. "You are a brave man...but you know you will have the final word."

Antipater bowed in acknowledgement.

Alexander watched the man, sure of his loyalty but wondering, once more, what Antipater might do if he were killed in Persia. He would no doubt take the throne but then Parmenion, if he was able, would have the bulk of the army and would definitely return to Pella where, if Antipater did not cede, there would be a war. He cast the thought to the back of his mind, he would just have to make sure he survived.

"The Spartans. I wished to send them home, but let them wait a while, then I will tell them I do not need them."

"Strange they should offer help now, when they have never shown anything but contempt for Macedon."

"Have our spies reported anything?"

Antipater shook his head, "Any day now, I should get reports."

"They are offering everything...too much."

Alexander signalled to a servant to bring wine then sat upon a couch, waiting while Antiapter took another. There was a silence between the two while the wine was drunk. Alexander looked to Antipater, he had always been like a father to him, always seeming to care, to be there with good advice when needed. The fact the general was silent now simply showed him that he agreed with his decision.

"I'm going to go to Aegae for a few days," Alexander said, "I want to see how the work on my father's tomb is progressing".


	7. Chapter 7

Diomache and Laterides discovered that Alexander had left Pella, two days after the king had gone to Aegae.

Wondering why there had been no more invitations to attend the king they had taken it upon themselves to go and enquire. The news put Laterides in to a foul temper and left Diomache recalling every envoy that had ever been sent and how well they had been treated. Charilus reminded him that things were different in Macedon, they always had been, only to get snapped at so, like Hephaistion, he sat quietly and waited for the man to run out of breath.

When Diomache ran out of examples, Hephaistion found his silence did not make him invisible, as he was lectured on his failings, of the missed opportunities to get closer to the king, that he had done nothing to gain the favour he needed to be close.

"I don't want his touch," Hephaistion responded, "I won't seek it".

"Back in Sparta..." Diomache blustered, but was cut off from saying more by Hephaistion's response.

"You want to be gone when I kill Alexander, you want to be safe on a ship heading home. And you call me the trembler? Go now then, leave me here to do the task you brought me here for. I will run to Hades, I welcome it."

Diomache's face went red, he went to speak but nothing would come out of his mouth, instead he turned and walked away, slamming a door behind him as he went.

"You are loyal, Hephaistion, but you no longer have anyone to be loyal to," Charilus said. "It wasn't love."

"Don't pretend you know my heart," Hephaistion said and picked up his cloak before heading out in to the city.

OOXXOO

Hephaistion wrapped his cloak around himself and wandered aimlessly for a time, then found himself heading for the gymnasium, finding it deserted.

He wandered over to where three javelins stood upright in the sand and took the first in his hand, feeling the weight of it, running his thumb along the cornel wood as he looked at the target at the other end of the training ground. Without thinking he threw the javelin, watching it arc through the air and feeling satisfied as it hit home, though not quite in the centre.

Taking the second javelin, he gave a little more thought to his style of throwing, placed more strength in to the release and smiled as it hit the target with a little more success than the last. He took the third, for a moment mesmerised by the metal spear, pressing his lips together, tightening his grip. With a cry he launched the javelin at the target and with a thud it hit dead centre.

"Teach me how to do that some time."

Hephaistion turned and saw Perdiccas staring at the target for a long moment before turning and grinning at him.

"I am better with a sword," Perdiccas confessed, " well, I never excelled with the javelin. I can run, not as well as Alexander though, and I am thought good in ball games but then that is not so useful in battle."

Hephaistion nodded and then began to walk to the target to fetch the javelins back, surprised when Perdiccas went with him.

"Why are you so sad?" Perdiccas asked.

"Why not?" was Hephaistion's reply.

Perdiccas laughed. "I think that Spartans must have dull lives, perhaps too regimented, your life mapped before you."

"Like yours?" Hephaistion pulled the first javelin free, then allowed Perdiccas to take it from him.

"You never talk."

Hephaistion put his foot on the target to pull the second javelin free, then had to use a little more pressure to pull the third free. Perdiccas offered to take them but Hephaistion just walked back to where he had found them, placing the two back in position while Perdiccas placed the third. He took a deep breath, he had not been seeking company and was not sure he welcomed it.

Perdiccas apeared to hesitate, as if thinking what to say. He ran his slender fingers through his fair hair and frowned a little, looked around the gymnasium then back to the Spartan beside him. "Alexander has gone to Aegae, he told me to follow after him, I drank to much the night before he left and made myself ill on it. The others have gone." No answer came and he looked to the ground, kicking at the sand, then glanced back up. "Why don't you come? Rid yourself of the old men you came with. There is good hunting there, it's a different place to Pella."

His hand went to one of the javelins, then he released it, realising if he threw again Perdiccas would expect a lesson from him and he was in no mood to teach.

Unexpectedly, Perdiccas laughed. "I was just thinking you would be good company," he explained.

The comment made Hephaistion feel ashamed, he ought to say something but he felt removed from the world, half way to Hades.

"Come with me, it is two days journey, that is all. Alexander would be glad to see you, he relaxes there more than at Pella."

Hephaistion looked over at Perdiccas and saw his chance. "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow morning, at dawn." Perdiccas grinned at him. "Will you meet me at the stables?"

"I'll be there," Hephaistion replied, stepping back then turning and walking away.

OOXXOO

Diomache clapped his hands with delight when he heard the news. "Kill him at the theatre if you can, it would be fitting that the son should die like the father."

"Kill him as soon as you get the chance," Laterides advised.

Hephaistion poured himself a cup of wine and took a seat, lifting the cup up to stare down at the red liquid, so like blood. He breathed in the aroma of the wine but did not drink it.

"Don't falter from the task."

Looking up, he saw Laterides studying him.

"We should leave," decided Diomache.

"Let's not appear too much in a hurry and let us think of a good reason why we should go without Hephaistion," advised Charilus.

Diomache went red with temper, he had come to resent Charilus' interventions. "Best we are back in Sparta, that we tell all what will happen so we can take the honours for it."

"You heard what happened to Demosthenes? He proclaimed Alexander was dead, told all of Athens the news, only to discover Alexander lived and was marching on Thebes. Let's not appear fools, Diomache, we will all benefit from the tyrant's death without needing glory for it." Laterides turned and stepped away, going to the door of the room as if to check no servants were close enough to overhear their conversation.

Charilus walked over to Hephaistion and put his hand on his shoulder. "Die well," he said, softly.

Diomache grunted and headed for his bedroom, saying nothing.

Laterides came over and sat beside him. "It is your chance for redemption, Hephaistion. Keep that in mind."

"You are uncommonly handsome," added Charilus, "use it to your advantage".

"I'll do what needs to be done," Hephaistion assured them, discarding the wine on to a low table close to him. Now that he had decided, he wanted to be in Aegae, to be free of these men who thought so little of him.

Laterides sighed loudly. "Leonidas' line...gone." He placed his hand over Hephaistion's. "Your ancestor was a great man, think of him when you need strength."

Diomache came out of his bedroom, holding a small bottle in his hand. He handed it to Hephaistion. "It is hemlock. If you fail to use the dagger perhaps you can pour it in to his wine."

Laterides folded his arms across his chest and leaned towards Hephaistion. "Do not forget the words from Delphi, 'A strike to the heart', they are never wrong, I have had my doubts about you but now I feel the prophecy will be fulfilled."

Hephaistion nodded and looked down to the small grey bottle in his hand, the seal still in place, holding the deadly poison. He resolved not to use it, a dagger to the heart would be the quicker way, the Spartan way. How had his life come to this? He remembered laughter and friends, days in the sun and nights in passion, swallowing back the memories as they brought pain now. He would never see Sparta again.

"We will not be able to pay honour at your pyre, Hephaistion, but rest assured that sacrifices will be made for you at the temples of Sparta."

"I doubt I shall have a pyre," Hephaistion replied, softly. He stood up. "I have to leave at dawn, I better go rest."

Diomache looked at Charilus and Laterides, his mouth saying words that would not come out. He coughed, then reached for the discarded cup of wine and took a drink. "We will leave the day after, make out we have been recalled to Sparta and leave a note for Hephaistion as though he will receive it on his return."

"Agreed," said Charilus.

Laterides stood up and stretched, he went to put his hand on Hephaistion's shoulder but seemed to change his mind, he said nothing.

Hephaistion went to his room, happy to close the door behind him. He reached for a bag and packed his things, placing the bottle of hemlock between two chitons, the gold dagger next to that, then he lay upon his bed unable to sleep, listening to the sounds of the city and watching the moon rise and fall in the sky.


	8. Chapter 8

Perdiccas was late arriving so Hephaistion ensured the horses were ready, fastening the bridle of Perdiccas' horse just as the clatter of feet on stone could be heard and his travelling companion appeared, breathless, with tousled hair.

"It wasn't the wine," Perdiccas grinned, thanking Hephaistion as he took the reins of his horse, then handing a cloth bag to a groom while he leapt up on to his horse's back, reaching to take the bag and settle it in front of him. "I was reading...Xenophon, Alexander lent it to me and I stayed up late. Have you read it?"

Hephaistion placed his bag across his horse's withers and then jumped up to settle gently, gathering his reins. "I read it," he replied, waiting for Perdiccas to remember to lead the way.

They rode through the city, Hephaistion quiet while Perdiccas debated the finer points of Xenophon's story with himself. Hephaistion remembered that Alexander and his companions had been tutored by Aristotle and he supposed that was where the analysing everything had come from. He thought then that at least Alexander was taking the practical approach by going to Persia but then remembered that the king's dream would never be realised. They passed through the city gates, the guards acknowledging Perdiccas, then rode along the plains for a while where Perdiccas eventually went silent.

Hephaistion looked to his right at the distant mountains, then behind to look at the city, wondering if Laterides and the rest were packed or already on the boat. He looked left, towards the river, a ship was sailing along it, some men stood on it but none looked like Spartans.

"So, do the Spartans really want to go to Persia with us? It seems a strange idea when they have never offered their assistance to us before."

"Time's change."

"Yes, they have for Sparta and yet you cling to the days of glory."

"Wouldn't you?"

Perdiccas laughed. "They are still to come."

Hephaistion was aware of Perdiccas studying him now but this time it was more with good humour than concern, unlike the others. Eventually, they lost sight of Pella and journeyed through some woodland and Perdiccas began to point out places, either where there had been a memorable kill on a hunt or a happy time. He talked of Alexander and his companions, of growing up at Pella and their time at Mieza and their recent battles, of the decision to destroy Thebes of Alexander on campaign, talking with love and loyalty for the man.

They emerged from the woodland and rode along another plain then in to some hills, cantering then galloping to cover distance, riding down in to a valley where a brook bubbled along a bed of rocks and level grassed areas were surrounded by trees. It was getting late and Perdiccas suggested this was where they should make their camp.

Hephaistion offered to see to the horses while Perdiccas gathered wood and made a fire. He was relieved that the other man had thought to bring food with him, he had forgotten to bring any and his stomach was rumbling. He turned to watch his companion and wondered, for a moment, what he would think if he realised he was escorting the man, who would be responsible for Alexander's death, to Aegae. What Perdiccas had said, during the day, came to mind and he felt a moment of remorse for what he had to do, Alexander seemed no different from anyone, he appeared to have earned the loyalty of his men and yet he was an enemy of Sparta and for that he was wanted dead.

After they had eaten, when Perdiccas had tried to engage him in conversation once more, Hephaistion feigned sleep, lying down by the fire, pulling his cloak around him, listening to an old hunting song Perdiccas sang, to the wood cracking in the fire, the horses tearing grass with their teeth, the water racing by. His fingers brushed against the woollen cloak, he felt the ground beneath him, the warmth of the fire, smelt the earth. This was life and soon he would be leaving it. He wondered about Hades, what that would be like, if it would be anything as he imagined and slowly he felt sleep claim him and wondered if death would feel the same.


	9. Chapter 9

Alexander woke during the night, hearing thunder rumble across the hills that surrounded the palace at Aegae, then listening to the rain that began to fall, gentle at first and then heavy and persistent. It lulled him back to sleep so it was past dawn when he awoke, his servants preparing his bath, talking softly amongst themselves.

He stretched, reluctant to leave his bed as it held him in a warm embrace. These were his old rooms at Aegae, here he had resisted transferring to his father's quarters and he was glad for it, he could imagine things were back to how they were. He was glad to be king but more and more he understood his father's life and he grieved at not being able to talk to the man.

Not wanting to dwell on the past he swung his legs over the side of the bed, the cool air caressing his naked body. He pulled a sheet and wrapped it around himself then stood and looked out of the window. Still raining. He leaned against the wall and watched the rain fall, water running along narrow channels cut in the stone paths, a woman cried out and laughed, unseen, her soft, hurried footsteps heard splashing through the water.

He looked up to the sky and prayed the rain would stop. Thettalus was here and later on this day planned to perform 'The Myrmidons' in the theatre at his request. His actor friend wanted to stay longer but was expected in Corinth and would have to leave the following morning. Alexander sighed, he liked the man's company, he always had a tale to tell about his travels and it had been a pleasant surprise to find him at Aegae, stopping for a few nights to break his journey and although Thettalus had easily been persuaded to stay for a few days more he had to go.

Alexander turned away from the window and wondered if he should ask Thettalus to return for his own wedding. His mother had three girls in mind for him to choose from and he was beginning to wonder what harm it would do to marry and get some peace. If she was pleasant enough he might even send for her on campaign and if she got with child he could choose to keep her with him or send her back to Pella.

He thought back to Mieza and the love he thought he had for Craterus, how he had longed to explore his body, to lie with him in his arms. Nothing had ever come of it and in time he realised what a mistake it would have been and he took the courtesans sent to him to his bed.

He went to his bath, acknowledging the servants who bowed to him and greeted him, letting the sheet fall and stepping in to the water, washing himself then letting a servant dry him before he dressed and made his way to the dining hall.

Craterus, Ptolemy, Seleucus and Leonnatus were already at breakfast when he arrived, seated around a large table with what looked like a banquet before them. A fire was burning, lighting the room which was darker then usual due to the grey clouds outside.

"Joy to you, Alexander," Craterus said, seeing him first and then followed in the greeting by the rest.

"Joy to you all," he replied with a smile, taking a seat between Craterus and Seleucus and reaching for some bread and meat while Ptolemy poured some goats milk and then handed him the cup.

Leonnatus sighed deeply and rubbed his head with his hand.

"You were deep in your cups last night, my friend," Alexander said.

Leonnatus groaned in reply then looked to him. "I might go back to my bed, sleep the morning away like Thettalus does."

"Nothing to do today with the weather as it is," Ptolemy said.

"No point hunting," Craterus complained, "any animal with any sense would be seeking cover".

"What of the play?" asked Seleucus, before biting in to an apple.

"You think a little rain will stop Thettalus? Will make Alexander cancel it?" Ptolemy asked, reaching for some cheese and an apple.

Alexander grinned then took a drink of milk. He wanted to see the play but it would be the first time he had been in the theatre since his father had been killed there. If it rained then Thettalus could perform in the palace and perhaps that would not be so bad. He had said nothing but he wondered if his father's shade roamed Aegae longing for justice for the crime. After having first been suspicious of his mother, especially when she organised the death of Eurydice and her children, he had come to believe that Persia paid for his father's murder and if he were to have any retribution then it would come in the form of victory in the east.

Leonnatus stood up, poured himself a large cup of wine and went over to a couch, lying down on it. He drank some of the wine, then put the cup on a nearby table before resting his head upon a cushion and closing his eyes only to open them when the sound of people arriving echoed down the hallway.

"Looks like someone has sought cover here," laughed Seleucus, getting to his feet to welcome Perdiccas whose voice he recognised.

Alexander looked to the door and smiled at Perdiccas appeared, soaked to the skin, then he saw the Spartan, Hephaistion, following behind him and wondered why he had come.

Seleucus decided not to embrace his friend but instead helped him off with his sodden cloak and called for a servant to bring towels.

"I need a warm bath," Perdiccas said, wringing out the hem of his chiton and causing droplets of water to fall on the floor.

"Joy to you all," Hephaistion said, standing in the doorway and making no attempt to move towards the fire.

Hephaistion's greeting was returned, if not as warmly as that for Perdiccas, then all attention and talk went back to their friend who was now attempting to dry himself with a towel. The servant handed Hephaistion a towel but he only held it, watching the scene before him.

Alexander asked the servant to go and see if his bath was still full and if so to arrange to heat it and return and let him know. The servant bowed and hurried off about his task. He then stood and went over to Perdiccas, embracing him and as he did so he studied the Spartan.

He was handsome, more handsome than anyone he had ever seen and he had eyes the colour of lapis lazuli, a perfect face framed with long chestnut hair which even wet and tousled, as it was, only served to highlight the beauty of the man. Yet, those eyes held pain and his whole demeanor was as if he wished to be removed from the world. Spartans were known to be direct, to say little, but Hephaistion took this to a whole new level. He had never seen him smile.

Another servant appeared with their bags and stood waiting orders as to where they should go.

Perdiccas turned to the man, was about to speak and then looked back to Alexander.

"Go with the servant, sort yourself a room and a dry chiton then come to my room and take that bath to warm yourself."

Perdiccas looked at Hephaistion. "We can share a room if you like," he said.

"There are plenty of rooms, no need to share," Alexander replied quickly, suddenly feeling jealous of Perdiccas and not understanding why.

The two arrivals went with the servant and Alexander returned to his breakfast aware of his friends watching him.

"No need to share?" Ptolemy said. "Perhaps Perdiccas wanted to share."

"You were quick to keep them apart. Do you have an interest in the Spartan?" added Craterus.

Alexander took a long drink of milk, emptying the cup.

"Are you going to leave them to bathe alone?" Ptolemy teased. "Are you not curious as to what body is hidden by that red cloak?"

"It would pass a cold, grey morning to watch the Spartan bathe," said Leonnatus, "but I am heading back to my bed so you will have to tell me what you see".

"I'm curious why Perdiccas brought him here," Alexander said.

Ptolemy laughed, "Have you gone blind?"

Leonnatus patted Ptolemy on the shoulder and raised his hand in a farewell as he left the room.

"I'll be marrying soon," Alexander responded.

Now it was Seleucus' turn to laugh. "I thought you were free of your mother. And what does marrying have to do with love?."

Alexander looked to Seleucus. "Antipater wants it too, Parmenion writes to advise me to marry..."

"But what do you want?" Ptolemy asked. Alexander stayed silent for a moment.

"Persia," he replied at last.


	10. Chapter 10

Hephaistion unpacked his bag, laying out the two chitons he had brought with him on the bed, then reached for the dagger and the hemlock, placing them on his pillow. He fetched out his comb, a red chlamys and finally his own red cloak, patched as it was, unlike the new one he had been given for the journey.

He lifted up the cloak now, feeling its warmth and he closed his eyes, brushing his hand along the fabric and thinking of the past.

When he opened his eyes he looked around, seeing a chest in a corner of the room, he lifted up the lid of it and placed the cloak in the bottom of it, then took the hemlock and hid it in the folds. He placed a chiton on top of this, closing the lid and standing up, taking off his cloak and stripping naked, kicking off his boots before using the towel to dry his hair and his body.

A fire had been lit by the servant who had shown him to his room, who had chattered on as he made sure all was well before bowing and leaving him alone. Hephaistion placed his damp chiton by it to dry it out and then lifted the heavy, rain soaked cloak and lay that alongside it watching steam rise from the fabric.

Turning, he took the remaining chiton and put it on, feeling warmer for it, then he sat on the bed, lost in thought.

He had declined the offer of a bath sensing Perdiccas' interest was more than friendship and not wishing to encourage the man.

Standing up, he went to the window and looked over to the tree covered hills. Aegae seemed a quieter place and he relished the peace of it. The rain was stopping and he felt the urge to go and explore, the palace sat on top of a hill, the city below it. He looked up at the sky to see the sun break through the clouds. Reaching for the red chlamys he put it on then pulled on his boots, taking the dagger and hiding it inside his right boot before making his way out of the palace.

He had only just left the palace when his name was called and he turned to see Alexander striding towards him while telling his guards they were not needed. Alexander was putting on a dark blue chalmys held in place by a gold brooch engraved with the Star of Macedon. He came forwards like a lamb going to the slaughter.

Hephaistion shifted his weight, feeling the dagger brush against his leg. He called on his years of training to see him complete his task, there was enough distance now, from the guards, so that he could not be stopped. He stepped forward thinking to reach for the dagger.

"Alexander!"

A young boy came over, running towards them, Hephaistion stepped back as Alexander laughed and swung the boy in his arms before holding him. The boy had a wooden sword and held it proudly, he had dark brown curls and a good complexion and smiled happily at his king.

"Still practicing with your sword, Tithaeus?" Alexander asked, then smiled to Hephaistion. "Are you going in to the city?"

Hephaistion nodded and began to walk with Alexander, listening to the conversation he was having with the boy.

"He's going to be my bodyguard," Alexander said.

Tithaeus waved his sword and gave a high-pitched roar, attempting to give the paeon as a soldier might in battle. He was unaware he had already done his duty.

They turned left and walked along the side of the palace, Tithaeus wriggled free of Alexander's arms and ran ahead, swiping at an invisible enemy, looking back for approval.

"His father was killed at Chaeronea, he fought bravely and deserved all honours given to him. His mother has remarried and lives here at Aegae now but I think Tithaeus will be a soldier like his father," Alexander said.

"The best way, to be a soldier," replied Hephaistion. He looked over at Alexander and began to understand why he was followed with such loyalty.

"Joy to you, Alexander." The greeting was echoed by three others as some veteran soldiers walked by.

"Joy to you all. How is the leg, Deinocrates?"

"I'll be glad when summer comes again," said one of them, a stout fellow with a greying beard, slapping his right leg as he passed by with his friends.

"He was wounded in Thracia. He can still fight well but each winter the leg pains him more," Alexander informed him.

"Do you know all their names?" Hephaistion asked.

"Not all but I value them all the same," replied Alexander, halting for a moment and then turning to the theatre, signalling for him to follow.

Tithaeus would have come with them but a woman, perhaps his mother, called out to him. He looked for the king, as if he might be able to delay his leaving but Alexander only smiled and shook his head. "Obey your mother," he said.

Hephaistion noticed a certain hesitancy in Alexander as he stepped in to the theatre. Preparations were being made for a play but here, though people acknowledged Alexander, they also seemed to understand he needed to be left alone.

Alexander walked to the centre, his pace slowing, his face lost in thought. "Here, my father was killed," he said softly, as if it might not be true if the words were whispered. His grey eyes looked to the ground, distracted, lost in the past."

Hephaistion recalled Diomache saying this would be the perfect place to kill the tyrant. But here was no tyrant. Here was a king. "We cannot control the Fates...we might think we can...but we can't. What is done is done and what will be will be," he replied, then folded his arms and turned away. He would not kill Alexander. Sparta's golden days were long gone, it was time to let another have it's chance to shine. With Alexander, Macedon would rise to glory. He looked back and smiled softly to him.

OOXXOO

Hearing Hephaistion's words Alexander looked up and saw the smile and felt as if a dagger had pierced his heart, as if the breath had been taken from his body. He hardly knew the man, had hardly spoken to him and yet it was as though he had been waiting for him all his life.

"You have a chance to do as you want now," Hephaistion said.

His mouth had gone dry, he could not stop looking at Hephaistion, all he could do was nod.

"They say Spartans say nothing." Hephaistion turned once more.

"Follow me," Alexander said, almost like a prayer.

He turned away and headed down the road which would take them to the town, his heart beating faster as he realised that Hephaistion was walking with him. A Spartan. He loved a Spartan. He wanted to reach out and touch but he was not even sure Hephaistion felt anything for him, perhaps, if anyone, it was Perdiccas who had won his heart. Perhaps there was someone in Sparta he would return to.

"What family do you have in Sparta?" he asked, looking to Hephaistion.

"A few cousins, an aunt." Hephaistion pressed his lips together, bit his lip.

"No mother or father?"

"My father died when I was ten years old and my mother two years after but in Sparta all are meant to be your family."

Alexander thought back to when he was ten years old, how he would run to greet his father when he returned from campaign, feeling safe in his strong arms and treasuring the moments when his father would talk about the battles he had fought, when they would look at maps together, when his father would be proud of him.

"It hurt to lose my father when I was twenty, to lose a father when you are ten..." He let his words trail off.

"We're taught to welcome death."

"We're taught to stay alive," Alexander replied.

They came to the bottom of the hill and turned left along one of the town streets and as people greeted him Alexander wished he were not a king right now but a man able to take his chance easily. His choices mattered now and as a king he had to be wary of the reason people wanted his friendship and as a king he thought rejection would come harder. His mother always said he should be alone; his mother was planning the wedding, picking the girl for him. What if Perdiccas had told Hephaistion that he would be married? What if Hephaistion had assumed he loved her?

Turning right they came to the site of his father's tomb, it was almost complete, the two chambers inside had been built quickly so that his ashes could be placed inside but outside work had gone on to show this tomb was for a king. With a smile to Hephaistion he stepped under a canopy where an artist was working on a painting.

"I chose a hunting scene...my father and I hunting," he explained to Hephaistion. "Things were not always easy between us, he was not always sure of my love for him and I sometimes resented him, sometimes I made mistakes and angered him but when we were hunting, then times were good. On campaign they were too...anywhere away from Pella. He deserved to go to Persia not be slaughtered as he was."

"Everyone had high expectations of me, it had been so long since a son had been born from Leonidas' line. My father was proud of me, determined I would do well and sometimes he would forget I was just a child simply needing a father's love. After he died I decided to be the best I could, to honour him."

Alexander smiled. "Careful Hephaistion, for a Spartan that was a speech."

Hephaistion laughed, gently. "They used to say I should be an ambassador."

"You chose the cavalry?"

"So did you. You will understand the need to do something different to your father...than a famous ancestor."

"I understand," Alexander replied.

Without thinking, Alexander stepped forward and embraced Hephaistion then found himself never wanting to let go. The scent of the man filled all of his senses, the strength and beauty of him. He kept promising himself a moment more to feel Hephaistion's face against his hair, to allow his fingers to wrap around the chestnut hair but it was Hephaistion who broke it, stepping back, his lapis eyes showing alarm as he did so.

"Friends embrace," Alexander said, grasping for an explanation, feeling the pain of rejection.

Hephaistion looked at him. "I know," he said.

For a moment Alexander wished a king had the right to order someone to love them but love had to be earned and love was a plan of the fates, of Aphrodite. He realised he would needed time so decided that on a campaign to win Hephaistion's love, that the resolve he had to win battles would help him to victory in the end.

Alexander spoke to the artist for a while and then reached out and touched the door of his father's tomb. Many were glad he was dead; many wished he were still alive. "He lived a life," he said.

"All men should have such a tomb," replied Hephaistion.

Alexander stepped out from under the canopy and looked up to the sky, the rain clouds had practically gone now, the sun was shining. .


	11. Chapter 11

At the theatre that evening Alexander could not help but look to where Hephaistion sat with Perdiccas, a row in front, a little to the right. He was distracted from the play but he knew it well and Thettalus' performance was faultless. He was more enchanted by the way Hephaistion's hair shone in the evening light, the way he watched the story unfold, apparently lost in it.

Alexander looked to Thettalus as he declared the love of Achilles for Patroclus and then he gazed back at Hephaistion, who was looking down, and thought he saw tears glisten in the lapis eyes. He felt alarm as he realised that melancholy still held Hephaistion in it's grip and resolved to talk to him when he could, to find out what troubled him, he wanted to know everything.

Ptolemy, who sat on Alexander's right leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Perdiccas says Hephaistion is not seeking love."

Alexander shrugged and feigned disinterest, knowing that Perdiccas was a shrewd judge of character and not wishing to appear a fool if his feelings were known and then he was rejected.

"Perhaps Achilles had a challenge to win the love of his Patroclus," Ptolemy said, laughing softly. "but I have never seen you so distracted, you normally hang on every word that Thettalus says".

"He spoke today."

"Should we throw a banquet to celebrate?" grinned Ptolemy, then his face grew serious and he lowered his voice even further. "Loving a Spartan is not a wise thing to do, Alexander."

"A Spartan of Leonidas' blood," Alexander replied.

Ptolemy nodded. "So that is how you plan to have him accepted, if you take him."

Alexander looked over to Hephaistion, in time to see him leaving, making his way from the theatre. "It has not happened, it might not. There is no point in worrying about anything until you are faced with the reality of a situation."

"Oh but I know you," sighed Ptolemy, "once you set your mind to something it generally happens".

"But love is new to me, Ptolemy, I am lost for how to win."

OOXXOO

Hephaistion made his way back to the palace alone, the guards ignoring him as he made his way inside, walking along the hallways and climbing the stairs to his room.

As he arrived he went over to the chest and lifted the lid to reach for the dagger, holding it in his hand to watch the metal glow in the soft light of a lamp a servant had lit earlier. He slid the blade in to his belt, adjusting the red chalmys to hide it then left the room, making his way to Alexander's rooms. Perdiccas had guided him to them earlier that evening as they went to meet Alexander and make their way down to the theatre.

As Alexander was not there the guards had moved away and he easily found his way inside, happy to find no servants waiting for their king, guessing they would not expect him yet. He looked around and went over to a table where there was writing material and placing the dagger on the table he sat down and proceeded to write. He then wrapped the parchment around the dagger and placed the parcel upon the table before leaving the room, unseen.

OOXXOO

After congratulating Thettalus on a fine performance, Alexander excused himself from the drinking and gambling that had been planned and went to his rooms.

He leaned against the wooden door a moment and looked around, then stepped over to the bed just as a servant arrived to ask if he required anything. Alexander shook his head and dismissed the man. He unclipped the gold brooch that held his chlamys in place and let the woollen cloak fall upon the bed. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, then stretched a little, kicking off his boots and thinking he might read a little before he slept.

He looked to the table and saw the package upon it and he frowned as he wondered what it was, then stepped over to it. He felt the weight of it at first and carefully opened it to discover the gold dagger, then he saw the letter written on the parchment.

Alexander

I know now that you will be a great king, not the tyrant I was told you were. I was sent to kill you so that Sparta might regain it's past glories. It is not something I can do. I wish you nothing but the best, I wish you victory in Persia.

Hephaistion

Taking the dagger, placing it in his own belt Alexander hurried from his room, calling for his guard to follow, to where he had been told that Hephaistion was lodging. He opened the door his mind full of questions he wanted the answers to. Hephaistion would have to be arrested, held to gain those answers, to find out who else was involved in the plot to murder him.

As he stepped in to the room he saw Hephaistion by the window, leaning against the wall. He turned and Alexander could saw the small bottle he held in his hand.

"What have you done?" he asked, striding forward and taking the bottle with no resistance.

The lapis eyes stared at him and Hephaistion sighed deeply, then began to slide down the wall.

Alexander went to lift him calling to the guard to help him. Two men came forward and lifted Hephaistion to his feet, holding him upright.

"I took hemlock," Hephaistion said, his voice barely a whisper. "I am done with this world, Alexander".

Alexander turned to a soldier who stood in the doorway. Fetch salt and a jug of water, get a servant to heat wine and get some mustard flowers. Be quick!" He turned his attention back to Hephaistion. "Don't let him lie down, hold him up," he ordered.

He grasped Hephaistion's chin and looked in to the lapis eyes, which blinked as though they were struggling to see him clearly. He was aware his hand shook, he had been so angry and now all he felt was concern that the man before him might die. He turned the bottle, tilting it to find some of the contents still remained, dropped on to the floor. Hephaistion had not drunk all of the poison but possibly enough. Socrates had died of hemlock poisoning, quickly they said, and he wondered how potent the poison had been, if it were the same. He should have called for a physician, he sent another guard to fetch one.

"You're no tyrant, Alexander...they all said you were a tyrant." Hephaistion looked down at his legs, he appeared to try to move them then he looked to Alexander. "The poison is working its magic, I deserve this death."

Alexander threw the bottle to the floor. "You're not going to die, I won't allow it."

The guard returned with the jug and salt. Alexander reached for a cup pouring some water and then adding a good amount of salt.

"Don't," Hephaistion said, knowing what would happen.

He began to struggle against the guard as Alexander approached with the cup, taking his chin once more and forcing it back, lifting the cup to the perfect lips, making him drink. Hephaistion choked at first, then swallowed, then fought against the next mouthful. Ptolemy came in to the room, followed by Perdiccas.

"What's happening?" Ptolemy asked.

"He took hemlock," Alexander explained, saying no more as he concentrated on his task.

Hephaistion began to heave and Perdiccas came over with a bowl, holding it before him, a look of disbelief on his face at what was happening.

"Oh there is more," Alexander said, pulling the dagger from his belt and throwing it on the bed, next to the folded Spartan cloak that lay there. "Hephaistion was to be my assassin."

Hephaistion was sick in the bowl, no sooner was he done than Alexander forced his head back and made him drink again.

"If he took hemlock then he has killed himself," Ptolemy said.

"Remember what Aristotle said? That if you purge the body of poison in time there is a chance?"

"I thought that was a theory," Perdiccas said, frowning as Hephaistion heaved again but holding the bowl before him as he leaned forward and emptied the contents of his stomach.

Again Alexander forced him to drink and again he was sick. Hephaistion fell against the guard, unable to stand.

"Did you get word from someone about this? Did Antipater send a messenger?" Ptolemy asked.

"No," Alexander said, softly, his eyes not leaving Hephaistion's face, now pale, his eyes appearing not to see him. "Hephaistion left a note, then came here to kill himself." He caressed the side of Hephaistion's face. "Put him on the bed but keep him upright."

One guard lifted Hephaistion up in to his arms and stepped to the bed, Perdiccas lifting the pillows to make him comfortable, perhaps not quite believing what he had heard. He reached for the cloak and unfolded it placing it over Hephaistion's legs, looking to the patches upon it.

Hephaistion laughed weakly. "Now you know me for what I am," he said.

As he spoke a servant stepped in to the room holding a tray with the hot wine and a bowl of mustard flowers. He looked around bemused as Alexander took the tray from him, then he offered to take the bowl from Perdiccas.

"It might be needed yet," stated Perddiccas, "fetch another."

The servant hurried off.

Alexander added a good handful of mustard flowers to the cup of wine and sat beside Hephaistion, holding the cup to his lips. Hephaistion drank the wine without protest but Alexander suspected it was because he thought the hemlock was past reversing. He rested his head back on the pillows.

"How many were involved?" he asked Hephaistion.

"Two more in Sparta, Diomache, Laterides and Charilus. They had been told at Delphi, that a son of Leonidas would strike you to the heart."

Alexander stared at Hephaistion, his lips forming words that he did not say, he looked down at the cup as if distracted.

Hephaistion gazed at him, then flinched in sudden pain before beginning to heave again. Perdiccas came forward, holding the bowl though it seemed that just the wine was brought back now.

Alexander watched. Had it been such a short time since he looked to Hephaistion in the theatre and thought he was looking upon his Patroclus? He regretted calling for the guard to follow, that he had not found Hephaistion alone, kept quiet about the plan to kill him. Hephaistion was such a poor assassin, never taking the chances that he had, not using any tricks to earn favour. He looked down to the cloak, his hand straying over the patches sewn upon it, then running along it to see a different shade of red, to find a stain of blood.

"Iphiclus," Hephaistion murmured.

Alexander looked up, Hephaistion was looking at his hand resting over the stain.

The servant returned with a clean bowl and took the full one away, frowning a little at the contents of it. Alexander held the cup of wine to Hephaistion's lips, encouraging him to drink.

"He's going to die," Perdiccas whispered. "I can't believe he would have done you harm, Alexander."

"Best he does," sighed Ptolemy. "Alexander, if he survives he will only face an execution." He held his hand up and took Alexander's wrist. "Let him go."

"Ptolemy. It is for Alexander to decide," Perdiccas said.

"You can't let him live," Ptolemy said, his face showing he realised he had gone too far with his advice. He released Alexander's arm and stepped back.

Alexander glared up at Ptolemy.

"I'll go find the physician," Ptolemy murmured, then left the room.

"He means well...you know he only thinks of what is best for you?" Perdiccas said.

"I know," sighed Alexander. "If Hephaistion survives...if he survives...then I will have him placed in chains and guarded while we discover everything." Then as if remembering some of his guard were still in the room he dismissed them. Hephaistion was in no state to be a danger.

Hephaistion began to heave again though nothing came back. With a look to each other, Alexander and Perdiccas lifted him from the bed and held him upright, trying to urge him to move his legs, to show some sign of improvement, but Hephaistion struggled just to stay on his feet even held as he was.

Craterus came in to the room, adding to the numbers gathered there. "A messenger has arrived with a letter from Antipater, he said he has to see you urgently."

Alexander nodded his understanding. "The physician should be here soon, Perdiccas. Stay and watch, then come and report to me." Perdiccas didn't get the chance to answer as Hephaistion heaved again.


	12. Chapter 12

Alexander left the room, Craterus coming with him and matching his pace as they headed to the Great Hall where he knew the messenger would be waiting.

"And what was that about?"

"Hephaistion took hemlock."

Craterus laughed in disbelief. "And why would he do that?"

"Because he could not kill me," Alexander replied, only to feel his arm grabbed so he could go no further. He turned to face Craterus.

"He was going to kill you? And today you went out, without your guard, with him." Craterus sighed. "You might have been killed then."

"I wasn't."

"Well, what is the point of a physician? Just drag him outside and execute him now."

Craterus studied Alexander's face while he waited for a reply. In turn, Alexander noted the confusion on Craterus' face turn to understanding.

"Alexander, don't be a fool," he warned. "If you have any notion of keeping this Spartan alive...because you have feelings for him, then you need your head holding in a bucket of water until you see sense."

"He couldn't kill me," Alexander reasoned.

"That's what your father would have said about Pausanias," snapped Craterus, his face going red with anger. He lifted his hand up to his hair and ran his fingers through it as he always did when frustrated by temper. "You hardly know him. Execute him, Alexander, as you had your cousins killed when your father was murdered."

"That was different, they would have seen me dead."

Alexander stepped away, going to the messenger who bowed before him.

"Antipater says to tell you that Sparta knows nothing about an offer of men. He warns you to be on your guard, to arrest the Spartan with you as the others have fled."

Alexander nodded. "Tell Anitpater that I know, that I am safe."

The messenger looked up at his King, stepped back, hesitated as though there might be another message then hearing no more he bowed and left the room.

Craterus sighed loudly.

"Hephaistion left the dagger in my room, " Alexander said, turning to his friend, wanting an opinion...one he wanted to hear.

Shaking his head, Craterus looked to Alexander. "He should be executed with no hesitation."

Alexander held up his hand in an attempt to stop Craterus, he needed time to think when all he could see was Hephaistion's smile. He paused a moment, aware of Craterus gazing on him. He counted how many chances Hephaistion had to kill him but he had not.

"I should have taken you to my bed...to please you, Alexander. I should have overcome my dislike for the touch of a man's body against my own and then maybe you would not be talking as you are, maybe the Spartan would be being hauled from his bed right now to feel a javelin in his belly."

"This was not Hephaistion's plan. There is something more, I know it."

To Alexander's surprise Craterus nodded in agreement. "The patches on his cloak...he meant to regain his honour," Craterus said.

"But he couldn't kill me, Craterus."

Laughing once more, Craterus turned, looking over his shoulder at Alexander. "Then make him your bodyguard," he said, his voice full of sarcasm, as he walked away.

OOXXOO

Alexander returned to Hephaistion's room to find the physician and his companions still there, watching over the Spartan in the bed as if he might leap to the attack at any moment.

Hephaistion was far from able to do anything, he looked pale, the fingers of his right hand clutching the cloak to him as if for comfort more than warmth.

A servant entered the room with a brazier and followed the physician's instructions as to where was best to place it before he began to light it. Seleucus whispered to Perdiccas who in return nodded his head and looked to Ptolemy, then Ptolemy sighed loudly and went over to Alexander but said nothing, only watched him, apparently astute enough to keep silent.

Lapis eyes looked to Alexander.

"He could not have had so much," the physician said.

Alexander nodded and then sat upon the bed, looking at Hephaistion for a long while before he spoke. "Execution is the punishment for an assassin," he said softly, his voice controlled.

"I didn't know you," Hephaistion murmured, clutching the cloak even closer to him.

Alexander stood and looked down at Hephaistion, then turned and strode out of the room, followed by his companions. He glanced over his shoulder to see Ptolemy and said, "We will return to Pella at first light, Hephaistion will remain here, under guard, until he is well enough to travel and then brought to face trial".

OOXXOO

Hephaistion watched as the physician settled himself in to a chair then closed heavy eyes and listened as the servant was excused. Never had he felt so ill but one thought kept resounding in his head, that he had been saved by the man he had come to kill.

Feeling restless, he tried to move but his legs felt heavy and any movement caused nausea so he lay still, grateful when the physician stood and adjusted the blankets around him.

He watched the lamp flicker, looked to the shadows that played across the room as if they were shades of the past. "Everything has gone," he said.

"What?" the physician asked, his voice seeming loud.

Hephaistion sighed and closed his eyes, imagining himself walking a rocky path to Hades, not sure if he wanted to go or stay. In his dream he wore his Spartan cloak, no patches on it, and he stood between life and death sure that one step either way would seal his fate.

His legs would not move. Hephaistion opened his eyes to see the shadows dance across the room, then turned his aching head to look at the physician who sat awkwardly in slumber.

For a moment, he could not remember where he was then he felt the shame for what he had agreed to, excusing it then with the thought that the ways of Sparta were all he had ever known. He would not see Sparta again.

He closed his eyes and drifted into troubled sleep, finding himself standing once more between life and death, hearing voices calling him to Hades. He took a step but his foot went backwards instead of forwards. He took another but again a step away from Hades. The fates appeared, spinning around him, laughing at him, forcing him back, running long, slender fingers through his hair, caressing and soothing as they blocked his way to Hades, they unfastened his cloak and let it fly in the wind, pulled at his chiton and dragged him along. He didn't fight, he had no strength, the rocks under his feet turned to grass and before him stood a man...Alexander.

Breathless he stood before him as the fates kissed and caressed the King of Macedon, adoring and protective. Hephaistion reached out a hand and Alexander took it, grasped it just before he was pulled from the dream.

Opening his eyes, this time to darkness, Hephaistion looked towards the shuttered window to see the early morning light shining through. He turned his head to see the physician, still sleeping, then looked to the lamp watching as the dying flame leapt, shrank then leapt again.

The air felt heavy. He dragged himself up in to a sitting position, then waited until the world stopped spinning before forcing his legs over the side of the bed, frustrated as they tangled in the blanket. Hephaistion bent forward, untangling himself, then carefully placed the blanket around his shoulders and got up to his feet.

He struggled up, overbalancing a little, holding out a hand as he stepped over to the wall, using it for support. At the window he unfastened the shutters and looked out across Aegae, taking a deep breath of the air, then looking out across the hills and the mountains beyond.

Leaning against the wall while he studied the land before him. Macedon. He was a prisoner to it now but he had been a prisoner to Sparta too, he just had not realised it.

"You should still be in your bed."

Hephaistion turned to see the physician was awake.

"I needed air," he replied, but made his way back to his bed, his legs still felt heavy. He felt tired.

The physician stood and stretched, groaning a little and rubbing his back. He helped Hephaistion get comfortable in the bed then opened a door and called for a servant to bring some warm milk and a little bread for his patient.

"I have no appetite," Hephaistion said, pulling the blanket tighter around him.

"Maybe not but if you don't eat then sleep."

Hephaistion nodded, closing his eyes and drifted off to a restless sleep once more.


	13. Chapter 13

Alexander was informed that Hephaistion had survived the night as he was about to leave Aegae, he nodded his understanding and jumped up onto Bucephalus, pushing the stallion into a canter. He felt the need to escape his emotions to see Hephaistion as the assassin, not the potential lover that Aphrodite must have offered him. He had wanted to go again to Hephaistion's room, to see for himself that he would recover, to feel the lapis eyes gaze on him once more. He gave a cry and pushed Bucephalus to a gallop, not caring if his companions followed or not. Only when Aegae was long from sight did he rein the stallion in, though he had no care to join in any conversation or to follow in the hunt of a deer that broke cover from the wood.

Olympias was waiting on the palace steps when he returned, servants having told her of her sons imminent arrival, no doubt. She looked every inch the Queen, her head held proudly, hands folded across each other, held against her slender waist as her white gown caught the breeze and danced around her. Anitpater and Cleitus stood beside her, a little distant from her, and they whispered amongst themselves, Antipater's hands moving as he talked, finger pointing to places unseen.

Dismounting Bucephalus, Alexander embraced his mother, who held her hand up to his face, gazing into his eyes as if she might see all. Alexander quickly averted his eyes and stepped over to his generals, greeting them.

"I was relieved to hear you were unharmed," Antipater said as he held Alexander like a father might greet a son.

Alexander clutched at the general's long chiton, needing the comfort, taking as much as he could before it would seem too much.

"We have one of the Spartans," Cleitus informed him, stepping forward to warmly welcome his King. "The one called Diomache was left to make his own way when the horse he was riding went lame".

Alexander absorbed the information and was about to ask about Laterides and Charilus when Antipater explained further.

"They were in such a hurry to leave that a servant of the house became suspicious, especially when they made no effort to go to the palace to inform anyone of their departure. The servant ran to the palace as they were packing their things and we were able to get soldiers to the port and to halt any ships from leaving. We then went on the hunt for them and discovered they had left by the southern gate, so we gave chase." Antipater paused for breath which gave Cleitus a chance to speak.

"I have questioned Diomache and he pleads his innocence, saying that Hephaistion alone would have thought of this plan to kill you." As Cleitus went to say more, Olympias stepped over to her son, taking his arm.

"The Gods, in their wisdom, let the plot be discovered. Give a slow execution to the assassins, Alexander, to show all what happens to those who would murder kings."

"Or perhaps I should put a wreath on their heads and praise them," Alexander said, biting his lip only after the words were spoken.

Olympias released his arm and turned, walking up the low steps at the entrance to the palace. "You must learn, Alexander," she chided, shaking her head and calling to her servants to follow.

"Did you bring the Spartan back from Aegae?" Cleitus asked, distracted by Olympias and looking proudly at the son of Philip.

"I will if he lives," Alexander said, taking a different route than his mother as he went into the palace.

Craterus, Ptolemy, Seleucus and Perdiccas hurried after him, looking to the other to find something to say, not knowing how to lighten Alexander's mood.

XXOOXX

As Hephaistion's strength slowly returned, more guards were posted to watch over him, curious Macedonian eyes watching the failed assassin as he picked at his food, slept and paced the room.

His stomach ached and the room would spin when he first stood and sometimes he wished Alexander had not found him in time and on other days he was grateful for his life. The sadness that had haunted him seemed to be taken away by the wind that blew through the olive trees which grew outside of the window. He would hold out his hand and feel the heat of the sun and the air swirl around him, lifting itself up to his face so he felt as if life was flowing back into him.

His dreams showed him he was not yet meant for Hades, not for a little while. He knew when he was well enough he would face trial. He was guilty of accepting the dagger and the task, so though he felt life he also felt death close by.

Lost in his thoughts he passed the days, allowed to leave his room to sit in the empty rooms of Aegae, the guards ever vigilant though he gave no thought to running. He knew he had no strength to fight and he had nowhere to go.

When the physician was content with his progress arrangements were made to take him to Pella.

Hephaistion fastened the patched cloak around his shoulders, just as the guards came with chains and locked cuffs upon his wrists and ankles, the chains welded to them limiting his movement, so he had to walk at a shuffle and could not raise his arms. In this way he was taken outside and placed into a chariot, a guard stepping up behind him. Hephaistion looked over to the olive trees, leaves lifting in the breeze, to the sun rising in the sky and the hills that surrounded Aegae with longing and thought it ironic that, when he had come back to life, soon it would be taken from him.

Soldiers and cavalry began to march and Hephaistion found himself on the road to Pella.


	14. Chapter 14

Alexander stood on the balcony of his rooms at Pella and breathed in the warm air, opening his eyes to gaze out across the courtyard below, watching servants at work, soldiers seeking shade in which to stand. He looked up to see an eagle flying high above and studied it while wondering why he always felt so trapped at in the place he should welcome as his home.

'Alexander?'

He looked round and saw Craterus standing there, eyes full of concern for his King. Ptolemy stepped forward and offered a cup of wine to him, then as he took it rested his hand upon his left shoulder.

'As the time draws near for us to leave for Persia, our friend finds himself lost in thoughts of what might be,' he said, looking up to the eagle as he spoke.

Alexander forced a smile and wondered if he should say that he was thinking of what might have been, not of Persia. He took a large sip of wine and kept his own counsel.

Perdiccas stood up from a chair he had been relaxing in and straightening his chiton said, 'Your mother met me as I came here today. She asked if I had been given gifts from you, Alexander.'

Craterus laughed. 'Yes, Alexander, you could have remembered your closest friends.'

'Ahhh, but you are coming with me to Persia, Craterus,' Alexander replied, stepping into the room, looking to where Seleucus lay sleeping. 'There will be spoils enough in the palaces of Persia to make what I give away now of no importance.'

Seleucus waved away a fly, seemed to wake a little but then nestled his head deeper in the cushion.

'And will we be celebrating a wedding before you leave for Persia?' Craterus asked.

Alexander saw Ptolemy nudge Craterus as if to warn him, too late, to be quiet. He was done with talk of weddings, with the girls his mother paraded before him on a daily basis, with her advice on how he should live, on what he should do, on what was needed. He drank down the wine and looked into the empty cup and then looked up to say with certainty, 'There will be no marriage'.

Craterus nodded and then stepped out onto the balcony as a chariot arrived, some cavalry and soldiers too. He smiled to himself and then turned to Alexander. 'We may have an execution though.'

Alexander went forward to stand beside Craterus and took a deep breath before looking down into the courtyard. He had expected to see Hephaistion but it was Diomache being brought to the palace. The man tried to hold himself with dignity as the guards pulled him from the chariot, he pulled himself away from the hands that meant to guide him, lifted his head high and disappeared from sight as he entered the palace.

Hephaistion was well, Alexander knew that much. He had troubled himself to discover how the Spartan's recovery had gone and he knew that Hephaistion was in Pella and possibly in the palace right now. There would be a trial of sorts and the obvious outcome would be an execution for the two men who had plotted against him but sleepless nights, where he was haunted by Hephaistion's smile, had made him question if he could order the deaths. He did not know why Hephaistion had accepted the role of assassin, he only knew each time he saw him he wanted to know more, to have more time to spend in his company.

"Alexander?"

This time it was Ptolemy who spoke and Alexander turned to see Seleucus had woken and a soldier was at the door.

"The Spartans are waiting trial. People are waiting, Cleitus and Antipater are there," Ptolemy said, conveying the message from the soldier that Alexander had not heard.

Alexander collected his blue chalmys and fastened it around himself, pinning it with the gold star of Macedon, then aware of his companions following he lead the way out of the room. He tried to focus himself, it should not take long and then he would order the executions and return to his rooms. Diomache and Hephaistion would not see the sun set.

As he walked into the dining hall the crowd gathered there fell silent. Alexander went to the raised platform at the end of the hall, where his Father's couch was placed on the nights of music and wine, when laughter rang throughout the hall. No sooner had Antipater and Cleitus stood beside him and Craterus, Ptolemy , Perdiccas and Seleucus positioned themselves close by. guards brought in Diomache, closely followed by Hephaistion, struggling to walk in chains they had placed around him. "I never said he should be chained," Alexander stated, feeling the breath leave his body as Hephaistion looked to him as he spoke.

As guards rushed to remove the chains Alexander fought with his emotions. Hephaistion was thinner, still pale but light shone in the lapis eyes as it never had before. He held himself differently, with more interest. His beard had grown, making him look every part the Spartan with the patched cloak he wore.

Diomache coughed and began to speak. "I must protest that I have been brought to trial," he began, "any plot to murder you was the idea of Hephasition alone. On behalf of Sparta, I apologise, punish him as you will but I am innocent of all."

"Then why the hurry to leave Pella?" Cleitus asked.

Diomache smiled to the general and bowed to him, smiling. "Charilus received some news and he had to return suddenly, I thought that Laterides had sent word of our departure, we would have come to the palace..."

Not giving Diomache a chance to finish his sentence Antipater spoke up. "Surely a ship would have been faster than horseback."

Diomache thought for a moment. "Charilus gets sick at sea, we agreed to ride part of the way..but this is the truth," he pointed at Hephaistion, "I am innocent of this". With his face reddening in anger he continued, "I said, when he was a baby, that we should throw him from the cliffs to kill him, a child born of Leonidas' line would be nothing but trouble. No. The Ephors themselves said he was born to greatness and so he lived, to tremble in battle."

Hephaistion shook his head.

"He retreated from the cavalry line in battle, went back to protect his dying lover, with no thought of all he had been trained to do."

Hephaistion looked to Diomache with anger.

"Iphicles was..." Diomache held up his hand. "Iphicles would have said the same...trembler."

Only guards stepping forward to pull Hephaistion back saved Diomache from a blow to the head.

Diomache turned to Alexander, opening his mouth as if to speak, pausing a moment and then pointed to Hephaistion before he spoke. "When Iphicles was killed, we feared for Hephaistion, so Laterides thought it would be a good thing to bring him with us to Pella. We did not know...I did not know that he would be a danger to you, Alexander, for that I apologise. Punish him as we would punish him in Sparta."

Alexander stepped forward, bringing himself within one pace of Hephaistion and signalling for the guards to release him.

"What happened in battle?" he asked.

Hephaistion bit his lip for a moment, then looked to the marble floor before gazing up into Alexander's grey eyes.

"Iphicles was my inspirer...I was placed with him to learn from him, he was a Spartan in every sense of the word, fearless in my eyes." Hephaistion hesitated and looked to the floor as though he could see events of that day unfold before him. "The cavalry advanced and an arrow struck Iphicles, the blow being so strong he fell back from his horse." He shook his head and glanced to Alexander with tear-filled eyes, before looking down once more. "I went back to him, the wound was not so bad but in no time the battle went badly for us and there was a retreat." Cleitus made a comment at this but what he said was unclear. "I stood and guarded Iphicles but was struck down and a sword killed my inspirer before my eyes, the same sword being used to wound me." Hephaistion stood silent and whatever scene he saw must have vanished as he sighed deeply and lifted his head to look to Alexander.

"He trembled," scoffed Diomache.

"Let me see the wound," said Alexander.

With a slight delay, Hephaistion swept the cloak over his shoulder and unclipped the chiton at his right shoulder. He pulled the cloth away to reveal the scar of a newly healed wound, that of a sword having cut into the flesh, slicing it as it was withdrawn.

Alexander reached out and let his fingers trace over the scar and then he looked to Diomache. "It takes courage to stand alone against an enemy's army. It was the act of a brave man and the tremblers were the Spartans who retreated from the battlefield, not to attempt to save a lover but to save their lives."

These words caused Diomache to flush but he stayed silent, rocking on his heels as though he wished to speak but thought it wise not to.

"No more words to save yourself, Hephaistion?" Alexander asked.

Without pausing, Hephaistion said, "I wanted death and I did not know you, Alexander. Now I know that Sparta's time is done and it is Macedonia's time to rise to glory...and you are meant for greatness."

Alexander stared at Hephaistion, the man had spoken with such strong conviction. Jealousy of Iphicles was the first emotion running through him, to have Hephaistion fight for you that way, willing to die for you. He took a breath as jealousy gave way to the strong belief that Hephaistion could never do him harm, that his mind had not been right when he had accepted the dagger and promised to kill. Then he felt a wave of concern. Here in this hall people were waiting for sentence to be passed, expecting Spartan blood to be spilled. He looked to Diomache. This man was guilty of plotting to kill him, his arrogance proclaimed it and this Spartan believed he could shield himself behind Hephaistion and live to tell the tale. Silence fell in the room as those present waited to hear what the verdict might be. Alexander took a deep breath, looking to Diomache.

'I am innocent of this,' Diomache protested.

'No. You are guilty.' Alexander said, quietly, his voice steady and sure. 'While we hunt for your companions, who are also guilty in this plot, you will be returned, as a prisoner to Sparta where I will demand your punishment..that of death...is given, to remind all Spartans not to think of bringing harm to myself or to Macedon.' 'But I am innocent,' Diomache blustered, trying not to be held by the guards who reached for him and with a nod from Alexander dragged him, still protesting, from the hall.

Alexander looked to Hephaistion, who stood calmly, watching as Diomache struggled and called out. He did not want him killed but knew he must choose his words wisely. He must put all thoughts of love from his mind, there could be nothing between them now, yet he wanted him saved.

Craterus stepped forward, leaned over to whisper in Alexander's ear. 'You can not let him live.'

Taking a breath, clearing his mind, Alexander spoke. 'You accepted the dagger, Hephaistion, because you wanted death and saw no harm in taking mine to get your wish. You are no trembler and yet you were unable to take my life. If Pausanias had felt the same as you, then my father would still be alive. You are no assassin.' Shouts of protest went up about the room but Alexander held up his hand to silence them.

'I am your King and have you ever questioned a decision from me before?'

Nothing was said as there was nothing to say. Pausing a moment more, Alexander walked slowly around Hephaistion, then looked to Craterus. 'Hephaistion will live. He will serve the needs of Macedon.' He smiled. 'Hephaistion will be placed where he can best be watched, be judged for his worth...with my Companions.' There were no protests but as Alexander looked to the faces of his friends he could see their disapproval, only Perdiccas showed some understanding of his King's decision. Alexander stepped back, paused a moment and then walked away.


	15. Chapter 15

Hephaistion had expected to be taken to his execution. He now found himself standing alone, surrounded by people who were disappointed that he would not die. He thought of Iphicles, of the moment in battle when he saw the sword thrust into his lover's body and had wanted so badly to follow him to Hades that when the sword struck into him he welcomed it.

'Iphicles,' he said, his mind picturing the man, hearing his voice. Charilus said that it had not been love but it was all that he had known and it was good enough to die for.

'Hephaistion?'

Perdiccas had come to him and he was grateful for it, Macedon held him now and he had to learn a different way. He smiled. He would fight for a King that was worth fighting for.

'Alexander said you should join the Companions...you know that any one of us will kill you if you make a move to harm, Alexander?' Perdiccas said.

'I have no intention of that,' replied Hephaistion.

He looked about, people were starting to leave the hall, only Ptolemy, Craterus and Seleucus made no move to go.

Perdiccas laughed. 'Alexander has a way of doing the unexpected, he is a great judge of character and must see something in you that the rest of us have cause to doubt.' Hephaistion nodded.

Craterus turned and strode out of the hall but Ptolemy and Seleucus came over to him, shrugging their shoulders as if accepting the decision, even if their faces still held their disapproval. 'Craterus will never be a friend,' Ptolemy said, 'I can't say you have done much to endear me to you, Hephaistion, but Alexander wants you as a member of the Companions and so I would rather keep you close than apart...so I can kill you myself if you so much as give Alexander a look I don't approve of.' He stepped back, putting his hand on his sword hilt.

Hephaistion exhaled a breath he had been holding. 'My life in Sparta is done.' he said, pausing a moment before he spoke again. 'I owe my life to Alexander and my intention is to show you that I mean him no harm.'

His words were considered and then Ptolemy shook his head, removing his hand from the sword hilt as Perdiccas placed his hand on his shoulder saying, 'You are going to have to forget your Spartan ways...talk a little more, question orders if you feel they need questioning.'

Finding himself undeserving of any kindness Hephaistion found himself smiling. 'I have never talked so much.'

'When did you last eat, you've lost weight,' Seleucus said.

Hephaistion looked up as though the ceiling of the hall might provide an answer. 'Yesterday, I think.'

Ptolemy gave a loud sigh. 'Come on then, we will go and eat, find you a bed to call your own and a horse...though you need to prove to me you can be trusted with a sword and I will have a keen interest on how you spend your time.'

Hephaistion followed, ashamed by what he had done but grateful for a second chance. 'I'll prove my worth,' he promised, in a low voice, heard by nobody but himself.

XXOOXX

As Hephaistion began to gradually adapt to his new life, preparations were made for the army to go to Persia. Alexander, was more eager than ever to leave Pella and the army answered his call.

Hephaistion had been given a place to sleep, a room next to Perdiccas in the palace, a fine horse to ride, perhaps better than the one he had in Sparta. His armour had been paid for, his weapons too, though Craterus had complained bitterly when he first saw him carrying a sword. He could not say that he had been fully accepted, even with Perdiccas he sensed that he was watched but as he had no intention of being disloyal he hoped it would only be a matter of time before he felt truly welcomed. Either way, compared to the life he had at Sparta, after Iphicles, this was like being back in the world once more and he savoured it.

He seldom saw Alexander and never on his own, not like the day at Aegae. It did not trouble him, he did not expect or hope for anything more. He did not seek out company, he had grown used to the solitude but at times Perdiccas and Seleucus would call him over or come to find him and he would spend time listening to their tales and answering what they wanted to know from him.

As he had lost weight and condition, recovering from the hemlock, he spent time at the gymnasium, working hard, as he had been trained to do. Sometimes he could almost imagine himself back at Sparta, with Iphicles, almost as if he were in a delirium where all the world around him changed and he felt loved and gave love in return. Charilus' words, that it was not love, would haunt him too. He almost wished the man was near so he could discover just what he meant. Iphicles had not needed to speak the words to make it real, they both knew. That was all Hephaistion needed.

Making his way to the baths, Hephaistion welcomed the cool interior, he was alone, the men who had been there had long since gone to eat and drink. Pulling off the cloth at his waist he climbed into the water, lowering himself back into it and closed his eyes, letting the liquid cool his body. He sank down low into the water, throwing back his head and bringing up his hand to wash his face. He opened his eyes, watching the light play on the water, when suddenly a hand reached towards him, grasping his neck and pushing him under.

As his head was submerged, Hephaistion felt water go down his nose, making him want to choke. He reached up, blindly, trying to find his assailant, tracking the arm that held him down but another hand came, grasping him by the wrist so he could not fight. There were two men...if not more, determined he should drown. Hephaistion was equally determined he should live and brough up his foot to kick out, which gained him precious time to take in air and pull himself back to see his attackers. He looked around for something that he might use as a weapon and seeing nothing he chose the larger of the two and came forward to fight. Dodging the man he brought his hand up to his attacker's throat and pushed his thumb hard against the chin of the man, forcing his head back, succeeding in making the man choke, he looked to the smaller, stockier man and kicked out between the man's legs, making him stumble in pain. Pushing the larger man back, Hephaistion leapt from the water and releasing his grip ran to where he knew there would be weapons, grasping on a sword and standing, feet apart, ready to attack.

The men hesitated, looked to each other and then turned and ran. It had been a short fight but they probably thought there would be other chances to catch him off guard. Hephaistion stood straight, breathing deeply, letting the sword fall. He could think of too many people who might want him dead to trouble himself with puzzling anything out. Looking to see if his attackers had thought to return he went inside the building and collected his things, coming back to the doorway to dress himself. 'No more bathing alone,' he told himself, then made his way out of the gymnasium


	16. Chapter 16

Three days later, Hephaistion saw one of his attackers at a banquet given at the palace by Antipater.

Hephaistion pushed himself of the wall he had been leaning against and made his way through the crowded room to Perdiccas' couch. Perdiccas was in a debate with Seleucus but Hephaistion could not hear what it was about over the noise of the room, so he sat down upon the couch and waited until his friend paused to sip from his cup of wine.

Leaning close, Hephaistion asked who the man with the brown hair and beard was, that wore a black chalmys with a silver pin holding it in place. Perdiccas lifted himself a little higher and craned his neck to look around the room, then nodded to himself and relaxed, looking to Hephaistion. 'He's one of Olympias' guards...his name escapes me but he's one to pick a fight.' Perdiccas paused a moment and then said, 'Why do you ask?'

Hephaistion smiled. 'I saw him at the gymnasium the other day..we wrestled, I did not know his name, that is all.'

In Perdiccas' drunken state this was all that he needed to know and with Seleucus tugging on his chiton he was quickly distracted, calling out to a couple of dancing girls who came close, patting the couch and calling for them to stop their dance and come spend some time.

Hephaistion got to his feet and looked towards the man, only to meet the stare of his attacker, the man then made his way from the room, glancing back to Hephaistion before disappearing from sight.

No doubt Olympias had ordered the men to attack him, for the simple reason she did not trust him. Hephaistion found himself smiling. Alexander's mother had the strength and determination of a Spartan woman, he could understand why she would want him dead but in Sparta a woman would listen, know the facts before making any judgement.

With sudden resolve he decided to go and see Olympias, if she would see him. Perhaps he could persuade her that he meant no harm to her son, that he had not asked to be part of the companions but would fight for Macedon with as much devotion as if he had been born there.

He made his way through the crowd and left the room, pausing a moment to ensure his way was clear before stepping into the silence of the hallway. He looked left and right, trying to get his bearings, the palace was still a maze to him but he did know the way to Olympias' rooms were marked by a painting of Hercules at one of his labours. He turned left, turned to his right at the end of the hallway, down some steps and then up a few more which brought him to a large room. He crossed this, listening for any danger as he looked to the paintings , smiling as he found the picture that he sought at the bottom of some marble stairs.

'Hephaistion.'

His hand went to his dagger as he turned but as he turned he recognised the voice to be that of Alexander so his hand released it's grip and move to his side.

'If you are thinking of going to my mother then I would advise against it,' Alexander said.

Hephaistion looked over his shoulder, at the stairs.

'She thinks I mean to harm you,' Hephaistion replied, stepping closer to the King, already resigned to give up his mission.

'She has no reason over certain things,' Alexander said, his voice almost a whisper, as if he thought the walls of the palace might hear him and carry his words to his mother.

Hephaistion looked into Alexander's liquid grey eyes, saying nothing but seeing all. Only when Alexander looked away did he speak again. 'So that is why you go to Persia.'

'My mother?' Alexander glanced back at him and laughed. 'More than that, Hephaistion. To revenge my father...to take back what is rightfully ours...' Alexander hesitated and looked to Hephaistion as a thirsty man might look upon a glass of cool, clear water.

Hephaistion stepped back, then consciously made himself step forward. He respected Alexander, he saw the greatness in him but he also saw the longing, it shone from him but he did not feel that he could give it...that he had no right to it. He bit his lip, glanced towards the stairs and then smiled. 'There are some would say that you should not be alone with me, Alexander, if they knew it then they would race to protect you.'

Alexander mirrored the smile. 'We have not been alone since the day in the theatre at Aegae.'

'I was meant to kill you there,' Hephaistion confessed, 'it was thought the perfect place...but I had seen sense by then, Alexander and would sooner turn the blade on myself than on you.' He paused for a moment, shaking his head and laughing softly. 'Or drink poison.' he said.

'To go to Iphicles?' Alexander said, staring into the lapis eyes. 'I thought you wished to go with Iphicles.'

Hephaistion stared into grey eyes. 'I was dead, Alexander...when Iphicles died I felt that I had died too. But now I am back amongst the living and will see what the fates have in store for me.' Alexander said nothing so Hephaistion spoke again. 'I thought you needed reminding that I was sent to kill you, Alexander. You treat me like a friend and I do not deserve it.'

Alexander did not hesitate to say, 'I see no assassin before me'.

Somewhere along the hallway, at the top of the stairs, a door opened and closed and footsteps were heard echoing off into the distance. Hephaistion looked to Alexander as if to silently question him if someone might have been listening to their conversation. Alexander nodded, then stepped back, silently signalling for Hephaistion to follow.

XXOOXX

Alexander did not know what emotions were consuming him, just that it felt right to have Hephaistion by his side. All the warnings from his mother, Antipater, Craterus and close companions to send Hephaistion away seemed crazy to him now.

Just the echo of their footsteps on the marble floor soothed him.

He made his way to his rooms, the guards saluting as he passed by, no doubt word would spread soon that the King was alone with the Spartan. As he closed the doors he realised that he was alone with a man who had promised loyalty but nothing more. He turned to look at Hephaistion who was distracted by a painting of Achilles and Patroclus, studying it for a moment.

'It's what I envy Achilles for,' Alexander said, surprised at his sudden confession.

Hephaistion nodded. 'You can talk freely here?' he asked, looking around. 'No walls with ears to hear what you say.'

Alexander laughed. 'Pella is my home, I was born here, but it holds nothing but harsh memories. I long to go to Persia.'

'The same can be said of Sparta,' Hephaistion said, softly.

'But you had Iphicles,' Alexander replied, quickly, shaking his head amazed at how the words poured from him, not thinking of the consequences. He stepped over to a table, pouring a cup of wine for both of them.

'I had Iphicles,' Hephaistion whispered, turning away to walk over to the balcony, leaning over it as if to see what lay below in the dark.

Alexander followed him and found himself leaning over too, even though he knew it was just a courtyard and would be empty of people now. When he looked back up he found Hephaistion laughing at him.

'It is the curiosity on your face,' Hephaistion explained, his laughter turning to a smile. 'No wonder you want to go to Persia, you have the heart of not only a conqueror but of an explorer too.'

Alexander felt his face flushing and lifted his cup in an effort to hide it. Hephaistion mirrored him and drank some wine.

'What was Iphicles like?' Alexander asked, unable to stop himself.

Hephaistion took another sip of wine, as though to give himself time to think. Then he placed the cup on the balcony and turned to Alexander. 'He was like you.'

Alexander said nothing, he wanted Hephaistion to speak.

Hephaistion opened his mouth, as if he might speak and then bit his lip and looked over his shoulder towards the door. 'I keep thinking someone will come to make sure you are not harmed,' he said, turning back to smile again.

'I would send them away,' Alexander vowed.

'Iphicles was handsome,' Hephaistion said, lapis eyes suddenly glistening with emotion as he began to speak of his lost love. 'I had hoped he would be my Inspirer, I enjoyed time in his company and he had a way with him, when he spoke you believed every word. He would have been good for Sparta as you will be good for Greece, Alexander. I never thought to meet another like him.' Hephaistion reached for the cup and took another sip before he spoke again. 'I understand your need to leave Pella, looking back I can see I needed to leave Sparta.'

Alexander reached out and took the cup from Hephaistion, placing it down on the balcony once more. He then reached up and caressed Hephaistion's face but Hephaistion stopped him, grasping his wrist to gently pull his hand away. 'It would be a mistake,' he said.

'No, it would not,' Alexander said, his voice low but insistent.

Hephaistion stepped forward, taking Alexander by surprise as he released his wrist and placed his lips upon his, tentative at first and then making the world seem right as the kiss expressed a passion that no words could describe. Alexander raised his hand again, this time he was not stopped as he caressed Hephaistion, wrapping the long dark hair around his fingers and feeling that this was all he would ever need. All too soon, Hephaistion stepped back, lifting his hands to stop Alexander from claiming more.

'I needed to know,' Hephaistion said.

'Hephaistion. Don't deny me.' Alexander murmured, reaching out only to have Hephaistion step away.

Looking to the door again, Hephaistion then looked to Alexander and said, 'I would wager that Craterus is waiting outside, perhaps with Ptolemy and Seleucus. Guards will stand ready and spies will be informing your mother of everything that has happened. It would be a mistake, Alexander...but I wanted to know. I see your longing and I feel the same way too.' With that he turned and made his way out of the room, leaving the door open as he left, within moments Craterus and Ptolemy were there, guards behind them checking on their King.


	17. Chapter 17

Hephaistion hurried from the palace and as soon as he was free from it, from the gaze of people, he ran through the streets of Pella finding himself at a small temple dedicated to Aphrodite. Catching his breath he stepped inside, looking on the small statue of the Goddess, illuminated by a bowl of burning oil and surrounded by votives. He pressed his body against the wall at the back of the temple and watched the flame, then the shadows dancing upon the walls and pillars, then looked upon the Goddess as though she might step forward and utter words of wisdom at any moment.

Lifting his right hand he let his fingertips slide along his lips, he could still feel Alexander's on his own and the sweetness of it had left him craving more. He shook his head, lowering his hand, as he wondered how he had the strength to break away. Only the thought of how he had come to Pella had stopped him. If Alexander had been a soldier at the barracks it would be different but he was the King of Macedon, leader of Greece and all around him were pushing for position, jealous of anyone who took favour.

'It would be a mistake,' he told himself again, as if to convince himself.

Laughter rang out along the streets and a girl ran in to the temple, looking for a place to hide, her face excited, she held her hand to her lips as if to stop herself from laughing once more.

Hephaistion stepped silently back in to the shadow, his hand going to his dagger incase his judgement was wrong and the girl was hiding from danger.

A man's laughter came from the dark and the girl hugged closer to the pillar, unable to stop a small cry of delight that the man was near. As he appeared she gave a shriek and ran, only to be caught in strong arms, the two lovers kissing before running off together in the night.

Hephaistion looked to the Goddess. 'You know my heart,' he said, 'I thought there would be nobody so important to me after Iphicles and if you guided me to Alexander, then it was a poor first impression that I made...an assassin.' He shook his head and stepped forward so that Aphrodite might see him and he knelt before her, lowering his head. 'You know I would sooner see that dagger in my heart than in Alexander's, I will follow him to Persia as I owe him my life...and I have never known anyone like him...it is as though I have known him before.'

He looked to the Goddess, as if he might tell if he had her attention. He needed her help, he hoped she was listening to him.

'I see the man, not the King,' he continued. 'I am not sure the likes of Craterus do.'

He rose up to his feet and exhaled loudly, then looked again to the Goddess, stepping closer gazing into her jewelled eyes. 'In Sparta I was shunned for being a trembler, if I were to be with Alexander...as a lover...I could expect the same, people would never think that my reasons or intentions were down to love.' He laughed. 'I am not even sure that this is love, we have hardly spent time alone, I fight my emotions, hide them and all Alexander knows of me is that I loved Iphicles and planned to kill him.'

Hephaistion paused a moment, looking down to the stone floor.

'I have longed to be with Iphicles but now I find myself longing for Alexander...with a stronger emotion...a deeper emotion than I have ever known.'

He went silent again and then removed a silver ring from the little finger of his left hand, stepping forward to place it in offering. 'It was given to me by Iphicles, I have treasured it but it is time to move on.'

Stepping back he bowed his head to the Goddess and turned and walked away, leaving the past behind.

XXOOXX

Alexander paced his room, his temper still raging. He had sent Craterus and Ptolemy away almost as soon as they had appeared, enough to make them think twice before they ever assumed they had a right to interfere.

Suddenly, the weight of being King seemed to rest fully upon him and he wanted a moments freedom to do what he wanted without words of advice or looks of concern. He fetched his cloak and wrapped it around himself then looked over the balcony and seeing nobody there lifted himself over it and climbed down to the courtyard.

It was something that he had done before but when he was a boy, now all that he had to do was pass quietly through one more courtyard and then, when the guards were not looking drop down over a wall and he would be in the city. It was easily done and Alexander found himself in the deserted streets longing only to be free of them.

He hurried to the stables where Bucephalus called out to him and seemed to welcome the bridle Alexander placed on him. Leading the stallion from the stables he leapt upon the horse's back and headed to the nearest gate, yearning even more for the freedom of being away from Pella.

The gate was closed and curious guards stepped forward to the cloaked figure their movements cautious as they recognised the horse if not the rider.

'Open the gate.' Alexander commanded, pushing Bucephalus forward.

One man came forward to snatch the reins as others drew their swords. 'This is the King's horse,' he said, gruffly.

Alexander pulled back the cloak to reveal his face and instantly Bucephalus' reins were released and the swords replaced in their sheaths. 'I am the King. Open the gate.'

None of the guards moved, the one who had taken the reins spoke again. 'Should we wait for your guard to come?'

'Open the gate,' Alexander ordered, in a voice that none would dare to question.

The gate was opened and he pushed Bucephalus forward into a gallop feeling as though he could breathe more easily with every stride the stallion took. He eased back into a canter and looked up at the night sky, illuminated by a full moon slowly his temper disippated and he reined Bucephalus in, dismounting and leaving the stallion to graze, while he lay down and looked up to the night sky.

Stars were shining, the Gods and Goddesses marked out in the sky, telling their stories and he closed his eyes and thought of his father, telling him their stories and thinking of all he might have asked him if he had not been so unsure of his love. He was too young, to sure to listen to his mother and be influenced by her venom. He then thought of times with his father on campaign, nights when they had laughed together, days when they had quarrelled and the moment Pausanias took his life.

His thoughts then turned to Hephaistion, who, in the same theatre, planned to take his life...but he had not. He imagined Hephaistion and Iphicles together and felt bitterly jealous of a man he had never known, then thought of Hephaistion's kiss and how the world had seemed right.

He sat up and though not many lamps were lit now he could see Pella and the silhouette of the city. It should be home but it was not.

Bucephalus suddenly raised his head and called out, looking into the dark and breathing hard, stomping his hoof.

Alexander got to his feet quickly and would have gone to the stallion but a guttural growl made him halt in his tracks and he turned slowly to see a mountain lion, low to the ground, its long tail swishing, dark eyes looking at its prey.

Alexander reached for his dagger only to find it was not there, then glanced over to Bucephalus only to find the horse had backed further away, plunging forward, head low, watching the lion.

Looking around for a weapon, for anything that might halt an attack Alexander found a rock on the ground. The lion moved forward and Alexander moved his foot against the rock so he might find it as he bent low and reached for it, while watching the lion. His foolishness, his temper may have cost him his life but he would fight for it.

The lion growled, paced to the side watching for its chance, Alexander growled back, realised if he went low the lion would attack and so abandoned the rock and moved back, turning himself in the dark. The lion leapt towards Bucephalus and the stallion bolted, kicking out at nothing as the lion had turned back to Alexander, it's tail swishing faster as it got ready to strike.

Desperate to find a weapon, Alexander stepped back then felt the ground disappear under his right foot and he was falling. Panic gripped him and he grasped out for anything that might save him, his luck came back and he clutched at a small tree, the branches digging into the flesh of his right hand as he struggled to gain purchase, feeling around with his feet for solid ground. As he struggled the lion appeared above him, swiping at him with its claws, snarling, baring teeth that could easily kill him, if the fall did not.


	18. Chapter 18

The lion reached down, large paw stirring at the air, eyes watching easily in the dark as its prey struggled to just hold on.

Alexander felt the tree bend under his weight and threaten to break. He dug his feet into dirt, pulling himself along to the strongest part, trying to lift himself without coming into contact with the lion above. The thought crossed his mind of just how they would find him, half eaten or broken at the bottom of the cliff. He tried to think of just where he might be and looked down into the darkness, wishing he had the eyes of the lion, to know just how far he would have to fall.

Growls came from the lion as it grew tired of waiting for its meal and with another two swipes it gave up the pursuit, pushing itself back out of sight. Alexander held his breath, listening as best he could with soil falling around him, to tell if it had gone or not.

Cautiously, Alexander pushed himself up, reaching out with his left hand, in an effort to pull himself to safety. Alexander could feel the rocks and dirt crumbling beneath him at the pressure and gambled on letting go of the tree, risking a final push. As he felt his foothold give way, he realised he was not going to make it and felt the horror that he would fall, possibly to his death, just as his wrist was grasped and his chiton grabbed as he was pulled up.

It was no mountain lion, it was Hephaistion. There to save his life.

Alexander swung his leg up, over the edge of the drop, warning Hephaistion of the lion as he did so. Hephaistion helped him to his feet and with a smile brushed some of the dirt off Alexander's chiton, passing Alexander a javelin with the words, 'If it comes back you can kill it'.

Alexander took a couple of steps forward and then, suddenly puzzled, he turned back to Hephaistion. 'How did you know where to find me?'

Hephaistion shrugged his shoulders. 'I didn't. I heard a commotion from the guard and then heard that the King had stupidly ridden out into the dark alone. So I fetched the nearest horse and came after you, trying to guess the way you might have gone. Then I saw Bucephalus and followed the direction that he had come from, to hear you struggling.'

'I would have managed...only there was a mountain lion trying to reach me.'

'Apparently so,' Hephaistion replied and laughed, looking around. 'You don't look like a King, Alexander, even in the moonlight I can see the dirt on your face.'

Alexander lifted his hand to his face in an attempt to clean it.

Hephaistion studied him for a moment. 'So, why ride out?' he asked.

Alexander thought for a good enough reason for his momentary insanity, aware that Hephaistion was waiting for an answer. 'You saved my life,' he said.

Hephaistion nodded. 'So why did you leave Pella alone?'

'I was tired of everyone having an opinion,' replied Alexander.

Stepping past him Hephaistion made his way to the horses. 'I managed to catch Bucephalus for you, he seems unharmed. We better get back, half of Pella must be hunting for you now.'

Alexander shook his head, some dirt falling from it and took Bucephalus' reins from Hephaistion, leaping up onto the stallion's back. He turned and watched Hephaistion leap onto the horse he had taken to pursue him and recognised it. 'That horse is hardly broken, Hephaistion.'

'He was the closest I could find and didn't do so badly,' laughed Hephaistion.

'Thank you,' Alexander said.

'For what?' Hephaistion asked. 'For repaying a debt...you saved my life twice, Alexander, I am still in your debt.'

Alexander looked over to Hephaistion. 'No...for not giving me your opinion.'

Hephaistion tilted his head to one side and smiled. 'You're the King, Alexander, you can do as you please.'

XXOOXX

They rode back to Pella to find that a search had begun for the King shortly after he had left. Cleitus and Craterus came galloping over to them as they approached the gates, looking at Alexander's dishevelled appearance and then to Hephaistion.

'I admit it was a foolish thing,' Alexander said, before anybody had a chance to speak. 'But Hephaistion was there to save my life.' He pushed Bucephalus forward into a canter before anybody had the chance to say anything.

Leaving Bucephalus with a groom, Alexander waited for Hephaistion to dismount and then signalled for him to follow and made his way into the palace only to be met by Antipater and his mother. Yet, Alexander was in no mood for explanations or concerned looks and after greeting his mother he declared that he was heading to his bed and not to be disturbed, then turned and once again made sure that Hephaistion was following.

As he reached the door to his rooms he told the guard to turn away anyone who came then stepped inside, Hephaistion closing the door behind them.

Alexander lifted a hand to his head and ruffled his hair, dirt falling onto his shoulders. He turned and smiled to Hephaistion then made his way to his bath, dawn was breaking and he could hear servants pouring the water, no doubt hearing of his return a while before. He waited a moment until all was prepared and then told the servants he would call when needed and then he began to undress, kicking his boots off and reaching for the clasp that held his chiton in place, letting it fall.

Naked, he stepped down into the bath and turned to see Hephaistion leaning against the doorway, watching him with interest. He ran the edge of his hand along the water, so that it splashed over Hephaistion and said, 'I think you could use a bath too'.

Hephaistion said nothing but slowly kicked off his boots, removed his chalmys and then unclipped his chiton, placing it upon a small table before stepping down into the water. Alexander sat down and Hephaistion did the same, moving behind him, reaching for a small jug close to the edge he then proceeded to wash Alexander's hair until he was satisfied that it was clean. Then he brushed it back so that water ran in rivulets along Alexander's neck and chest. Very gently he then placed his lips on Alexander's neck and left a trail of kisses along it.

Alexander turned his head so that he might meet those lips with his own, never wanting anything more but Hephaistion laughed and insisted that he face forward while he replaced the jug with a bottle of oil and began to rub it into Alexander's body.

'You are the best body servant,' Alexander murmured, as Hephaistion eased the aches around his shoulders.

Hephaistion laughed. 'I have never seen a King covered in so much mud as you, Alexander.'

Alexander took a deep breath and lowered himself under the water, rubbing at his skin, breaking the surface hoping he might pass inspection from the perfect man beside him. He sat up, rubbing water from his face, suddenly remembering that not so long ago Hephaistion had said it would be a mistake to be together. 'What changed your mind?' he asked, before he could stop himself.

Hephaistion slowly cupped some water and let it flow along his chest, his lapis eyes looking into Alexander's grey. 'I realised the stupidity of fighting your emotions. I wondered why I should deny my feelings because other people might hate me for it.' He bit his lip, pausing before he spoke again. 'I would love you no matter who you were, Alexander...it would be easier if you were not King but you are and so I will ignore what people say because I know what is in my heart.'

Alexander moved towards Hephaistion, hesitating just a moment before claiming a kiss. As Hephaistion responded to him and Alexander tasted the sweetness of it once more, he could hardly believe that Hephaistion was his.

Hephaistion broke the kiss, then kissed his lips and looked to him with desire-filled eyes. 'Perhaps we should move to the bedroom.' he whispered.

Alexander nodded, clamied another kiss and then stood and left the bath, reaching for a towel and passing Hephaistion another. They dried their bodies, saying nothing for nothing needed to be said. Then they walked to the bedroom. Sunlight streamed across the room, illuminating a painting of Achilles and Patroclus. They lay upon the bed, moving close to each other, embracing, exploring, kisses growing more passionate as they took pleasure from each other, finally sleeping, wrapped against each other.

XXOOXX

When Alexander awoke, he had to think for a moment, confused by the sunlight and warmth, marking the time as later than he would usually have risen. He thought that he had had the sweetest dream and then realised that is was no dream but a wonderful reality.

Turning, he watched Hephaistion sleeping, dark hair upon the white pillow, sheet wrapped low around him as he rested on his stomach. Now, they were lovers, they had declared it to each other, falling asleep in each others arms.

Alexander laughed softly, he had been advised to marry before he left for Persia, many girls had been suggested and he had refused them all. To find himself with feelings as he had for Hephaistion he could only think that Aphrodite had looked on him with favour and brought love to him, found the one person in the world he was meant to be with and conspired with the fates to have them meet.

In the bright light Alexander noticed the faint trace of a whip mark upon Hephaistion's skin and he lifted his hand to follow the scar with his fingertip, not yet touching but then leaning down to kiss the mark, feeling a little angry that his lover had been harmed. 'My lover,' he murmured, savouring the words.

Hephaistion sighed and stretched a little then slowly opened his eyes, smiled as he saw Alexander and reached out his hand to take Alexander's. 'Joy to you,' he whispered, rolling onto his back and pulling Alexander towards him for a kiss.

'Joy to you,' Alexander replied, when the kiss was done, letting his free hand explore Hephaistion's body, to feel the strong contours of his body, muscle just beneath the skin, his defined abdomen, the curve of his hip, thighs which parted at his touch. He rested his forehead against Hephaistion's, closing his eyes, wanting to remember everything.

'You are insatiable,' laughed Hephaistion, his own hand sliding down Alexander's back to caress his buttocks. He kissed Alexander, sliding his tongue along his bottom lip.

Alexander felt his body react at the kiss, pressing himself against Hephaistion, reaching out a hand to pull back the tangled sheet, then reaching for the oil.

Hephaistion parted his thighs, lifting himself so that the oil could be applied in a generous quantity. Alexander had taken him first and then he had taken Alexander. Hephaistion just wanted to feel them both become one as they moved against each other and he gazed into the grey eyes as Alexander entered him, wrapping his arms around his lover and beginning to move as Alexander's oil-covered hand closed around his shaft.

It was bliss. It was how it was intended to be.

XXOOXX

Later in the day, Alexander rose from the bed and wrapping a sheet around his body called for a servant, asking for a fresh bath to be prepared and for a selection of food and wine to be left. The servant bowed and nervously informed Alexander that his mother had been asking to see him. Alexander ignored the remark, turning to make his way back to his bedroom, letting the sheet fall as he embraced Hephaistion.

'You will be needed,' Hephaistion said.

'Not today,' Alexander replied, 'let them wait'.

Hephaistion moved against him and Alexander looked down to the scar that was left when he had tried to protect Iphicles. It was not so bad as it might have been but it was a mercy it was not a killing blow. The scar was still fresh and Alexander thought then that it was not so long ago Hephaistion had lost Iphicles.

As if sensing his thoughts, Hephaistion ran his hand over the scar, lifting his head to look upon Alexander. 'It was another time,' he murmured, 'Iphicles would give his blessing, he often spoke of what might be if he were killed...if I was killed.'

Alexander tightened his embrace and made a solemn vow. 'I would die for you, Hephaistion.'

'As I would for you,' came the reply.

Sounds came from the bathroom as servants prepared the new bath. Hephaistion sat up, swinging his long legs over the side of the bed. 'It was not the same with Iphicles,' he said. 'I mean I would have died for him...of course I would, I would fight the same, I have no regrets but the love I had for Iphicles, it was...an understanding, that love would be there.'

Hephaistion sighed and paused as if to gather his thoughts. 'When I came here, I did not know you and I would have gladly sheathed the dagger in your heart. I thought I wanted death...Iphicles came to me when I had an open heart and I loved him...you came to me when I wanted done with this world and you brought me back to life, Alexander.' He paused again, smiling to Alexander. 'I mean to say, this love is greater...don't think the shade of Iphicles is between us. My heart is yours, Alexander.'

Alexander reached out and placed his hand over Hephaistion's, no words were needed at the moment, he just needed to tell himself that this was not a dream, that it was real and to calm the beating of his heart each time Hephaistion looked to him.

XXOOXX

When they were both ready, to face the world again, they stepped outside of Alexander's rooms, both surprised to discover that nobody waited for them, though they both smiled when, gathered in the first room they came to were concerned companions talking with Antipater.

Alexander stepped forward first with Hephaistion just half a pace behind him. 'You can see I live, he said, 'some of you might even see that I live as I never have before.' He smiled to Perdiccas as he finished speaking, reaching out to slide his hand around Hephaistion's waist, grey eyes challenging the gathered crowd to protest.

Anitpater bowed, hesitated a moment, obviously trying to think of something to say, parted his lips and then took a deep breath before saying. 'All arrangements are made for Persia, Alexander, we have been waiting to tell you that.'

'Your mother has been trying to see you,' Seleucus added, 'she said that...' His voice trailed away as he realised that his King, his friend, had no interest in what his mother wanted from him anymore.

With a slow caress, Alexander released Hephaistion and made his way from signalling for his lover to follow. He turned back and smiled. 'Let us feast tonight and leave tomorrow, no delay, let us go take from Darius what he has held too long.'

'Come, Spartan,' he murmured, smiling to Hephaistion, 'let us go and see what the fates hold in store for us'.

With that Alexander and Hephaistion left the room, soon to leave Pella. Forever.

THE END


End file.
